As the numbers in our “age” increase we tend to look back at events, wondering if we could of handled them differently or if we did it just right. For some of us, this is a ongoing, constant review of our lives. This is tedious and not the best for our mental and physical states. So, let’s stop looking backwards and establish some new “life rules” to follow from now on. If these new ways of looking at life work and you like them, let’s share them with our grown kids and our grand kids. If we do, in the future, our world will be a little “nicer” and a better place to live.
These rules were written by the Dalai Lama in January of 2011 as he was reflecting on the new year. I hope you like them and choose some if not all to guide you and your family through life.
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs:
1. Respect for self
2. Respect for others
3. Responsibility for all your actions
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
When life doesn’t match your expectations or wants, you will be unhappy, in pain, even depressed.
How do you overcome this problem?
The short answer is, write down your expectations, clearly leaving 3 lines between each one.
Under each expectation on the first line, write down your current status of achieving or living that expectation. Most importantly, did deep into your mind and past programing, and decide if each one is Still a Valid Expectation. Is it something you still want to have or achieve in life? Is it really? If not, get ride of it, get it out of your mind and praise yourself for making positive change!
On the next line, write down what you have to do to reach and live that expectation. Do you need to go to school for it, get a licensed, move to another city, take lessons, or network with people already doing it.
Finally, review your life and expectations as they are now and decide if you want to add new expectations or maybe revise the old ones.
This is all about you and what you want in life. You are writing the movie script of your life and the finished product will play on your Big Screen of You Mind. So make it exactly what YOU want. Dream big.
As I like to say,
Think Good Thoughts
Speak Good Words
Do Good Things
When life doesn’t match your expectations or wants, you will be unhappy, in pain, even depressed.
How do you overcome this problem?
The short answer is, write down you expectations, clearly leaving 3 lines between each one.
Under each expectation on the first line, write down your current status of achieving or living that expectation. Most importantly, did deep into your mind and past programing, and decide if each one is Still a Valid Expectation. Is it something you still want to have or achieve in life? Is it really? If not, get ride of it, get it out of your mind and praise yourself for making positive change!
On the next line, write down what you have to do to reach and live that expectation. Do you need to go to school for it, get a licensed, move to another city, take lessons, or network with people already doing it.
Finally, review your life and expectations as they are now and decide if you want to add new expectations or maybe revise the old ones.
This is all about you and what you want in life. You are writing the movie script of your life and the finished product will play on your Big Screen of You Mind. So make it exactly what YOU want. Dream big.
As I like to say,
Think Good Thoughts
Speak Good Words
Do Good Things
I received this in an email this morning. Complaining, whinning, griping are so easy to do, and often it’s our first reaction to a bump in our road. Trouble is, it’s not productive and it sets up a roadblock to the things in life you want and dream about it.
Here’s what the Secret says:
From The Secret Daily Teachings
If you are complaining about things in your life, you are on the complaining frequency, and you are not in a position to attract what you want.
Get on to the frequency of good with your thoughts and words. Firstly you will feel good, and secondly you will be on the frequency of receiving more good.
May the joy be with you,
Rhonda Byrne The Secret and The Power… bringing joy to billions
Are you stressed out from work, family, problems, set backs, or just plan old everyday life?
Then take some time to regenerate your inner batteries. Meditation helps charge those batteries and can be done almost anywhere.
I wrote this meditation to help with career and work stresses. You can adapted it to any stress you have in life. Give it a try, you’ll feel better.
So here we go………..
Career Stress Meditation
Now we’re going to improve your thoughts and life in relationship to your Career.
Choose and prepare where you will meditate today. Choose a quiet spot where you won’t be disturbed. Lower the lights, maybe light a candle. If you want, turn on some quiet, soft music.
Get comfortable and relaxed, laying down or sitting down.
Take a deep breath and close your eyes.
Relax you body, your shoulders, arms, hands, fingers, legs, feet, and toes.
Breath deeply, inhaling slowly, holding it for a moment, then exhale through your open mouth as if you’re gently blowing out a candle.
Continue breathing, slowly, breathe in and out.
In and out, In and out.
Keep your mind focused on your breathing, slowly, gently, and deeply. Feel each breath going through your body. Do so for two or three minutes.
Now, feel your whole body going into a deep relaxation. Feel your neck, your shoulders, your lower back, your chest, your heart, your arms, your hands, your fingers. Shake them loose.
Take another deep breath, exhale slowly. Now your hips are relaxed, your legs, your feet and toes. Wiggle your toes.
Now, breathing slowly, visualize yourself at your work. Visualize the physical space you spend your working time in.
Notice how you feel, your muscles, your jaw, your neck and back, your mind and your heart. How do you feel being in the area you work in? Is it a desk, your home office, an assembly line, a retail store, wherever it is, visualize and feel that space.
Look around, there’s your customers, your co-workers, your boss. What do you feel like in your space? Are you happy there, stressed, angry, unhappy, unappreciated?
Is it time for change? Visualize and feel where you would be in your new environment.
Take a deep breath and exhale, relax, and breath again. Feel these negative feelings fading. Feel them flowing out of your fingers, the bottom of your feet and all the pores of your body.
Visualize a blue mist surrounding you. The mist is blue as it is the color of truth, serenity and harmony, and helps to soothe the mind. It is good for cooling, calming, reconstructing and protecting. It calms the body and mind, raising your frequency to attract the perfect people and opportunities for you.
From today on you will feel positive and relaxed about your life and career. Life is good today and you’re starting a wonderful new journey.
Stay relaxed, breath in and out.
Now, in this relaxed state, think about how you want to feel at work and career. What needs to change? In your mind visualize being relaxed and happy. Remember, you are bigger than your job. Your identity is not defined by your job. You are a unique, talented, skilled and complete person with a mission in life only you can complete.
Meditate on what you would be doing and how you will feel when you’re on the right path. Take your time, visualizing every element. Focus on how your want to feel, not every little detail. The universe will fill in the details.
Maybe it’s still at your current job and things have changed for the better? Is it somewhere new? What area, country, city or state are you in? Are you inside or outside, with others or alone, are you working with your hands or your mind? How do you feel there? Feel your happiness and satisfaction. Continue visualizing the perfect place for you and feel as if you are already there.
Continue this process until you have created the complete vision. It may take several meditations before you see it clearly. With deep thought and searching you will be able to create your vision, one that is uniquely yours.
Now, take a very deep breath and release it slowly. Feel your new energy and mental clarity.
Breath in and out. You have begun your journey. Keep this feeling alive in your heart and mind and use it daily.
Take a few more deep breaths and slowly open our eyes. Sit for a minute to adjust to the light and energy in the room.
You create your own energy regardless of the situation you are in physically. Keep your energy strong and stay on your journeys path.
Stand up, shake your body loose, now, take another step towards your new life. Life is good today.
Now go into the world and be happy and spread love and acceptance.
Our brain is the most powerful computer in the Universe.
The Words we say to ourselves consciously and subconsciously determine our lives. We must have a constant vigil of our words. Use positive, re-enforcing, motivating and passionate words to create the life you want.
When we say, “I knew I couldn’t do it”, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. But, when we say, “I know I can do this”, that too is a self-fulfilling prophecy! It’s the same number of words, it takes the same amount of effort to think or say. Which would you rather use?
This is a great quote to help you remember the power of YOUR WORDs:
“Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”
-Frank Outlaw
As your mother used to tell you, “Watch your words my dear!”
Your words can make you HAPPY, or sad, it’s your choice!
(A note before we start. I am very happy for the people of Egypt and their new found freedom. Today, I am using their revolution as a metaphor for an unhappy or unfulfilled personal life. I am in no way minimizing the importance of the revolution and comparing my plight to an entire country.)
The people of Egypt have been under the control of a dictator for decades. During that time their lives have been controlled, their freedom denied, their daily options restricted and their hearts became heavy.
Much like the people of Egypt those of us who work in a corporate cubical, we too can feel controlled, living by the leaders rules, with no regard for our own personal needs and wants. Under these circumstances our hearts become heavy and we become frustrated with pent up emotions and soon, our bodies start to show signs of stress and sickness. In Egypt, a revolution released their frustration. In our lives in a cubicle this frustration leads to sickness such as the flu.
During these times we can review our situation, decide what isn’t working for us, and plan a big, sometimes major, adjustment to our lives. This is the time for inner reflection, then develop a long range life plan, gather our strength and take action. Eventually, something “breaks”, in Egypt a revolution occurs, in our lives we get sick.
The flu hit me hard. The cubicle stress finally became more than my body could fight off. While throwing up and nursing my physical pains I used the time to evaluate my diet, my exercise program (or lack of one) and my mental state of mind and compared my current life to the one I’d dreamed of. Was I doing what I’d planned, what I love and was I doing what I needed to in order to have the life and retirement a want and deserve? Apparently, I wasn’t because I was very sick. Something had to change and quickly.
I spent the week taking care of my basic needs with rest, lots of hot tea and soaking in a hot tub with lavender salts. It took a long time but it helped. As I got stronger I began simple yoga moves and poses and meditation. During meditation I relaxed, healed my body and worked on my mind.
Through meditation I evaluated my current work situation and lifestyle. I learned that I was allowing circumstances at work to make me overly stressed. In turn, the stress caused me to come home at night and neglect my exercise and doing things, like photography and writing, that I’m passionate about. In short, I was neglecting my inner spirit. I wondered if I should take the leap, like the duck in the photo and move on to better things and places.
In order to get better and be happier I used meditation and self affirmations to put my job into perspective. I learned there are parts of my job that I like and I’m really good at my job overall. I would no longer let this job define me. I wrote affirmations focusing on the good things in my work and life and read them many times a day. Soon I was able to go to work, feeling good, and knowing this job is a necessary stepping stone to my long term life goals. From that point on, work was a lot easier and I felt better. Then I was able to look deep inside and find the things I’m passionate about. I found that I am most happy when helping others get the lives they want by writing articles like this and talking to people one on one or in small groups. Also, I enjoy worldwide adventure and luxury travel and photography and being creative.
Knowing what motivates me and what I’m passionate about is a great relief, a great breakthrough for me and meant I now have something to build on and work for. While recovering I set up and exercise plan, wrote a flight plan of how I’m going to get to a nice, comfortable retirement, in a great place where I can feed my creative spirit daily and be true to yourself. From now on I’m living my plan daily and know that I will have the live I want.
The Revolution in Egypt and down time due to sickness such as the flu serve similar purposes, they are a chance to make major changes in our lives that puts us in the driver’s seat of our future. In my situation, the flu started my own revolution and freed me from past constraints. I hope you listen to your body because it’s talking to you everyday. Find out what makes you feel good and passionate. Take care of your Mind, Body and Spirit. Make a flight plan for your future and monitor your progress. Be happy and love your life. Be a positive example for others. Live long and love others.
A new vineyard doesn’t produce enough quality grapes to harvest for several years. Like the vineyard, we start young and grow into healthy and productive people. Along the way, we learn habits and develop thinking patterns that hold us back from becoming truly, healthy, happy people with great lives.
Fortunately, the vineyard grower has learned secrets to growing healthy grapes. The same is true for us. There are secrets to getting what we want and using our God given talents and living a Great Life.
1) Forgive yourself. We’ve all done things in the past that weren’t right and are holding us back from being happy. Those things are in the past, now it’s time to leave them behind and be your own best friend. Be nice yourself.
2) Talk nicely to yourself. We all talk to ourselves constantly without even thinking about what we’re saying. Now is the time to monitor your thoughts and self talk and make sure we’re saying things that help and support ourselves instead of being mean to ourselves.
3) Be Healthy. The vineyard grower nurtures his vines making sure they get all the water, nutrients and care they need to become healthy. We have to do the same thing with our mind, body and spirit. When we eat well, exercise, read good books, study and take care of ourselves we are happier and healthier.
4) Love. If we want others to love us, we must first love ourselves, then love those around us, and mankind. We all have conflicts and don’t feel loved. Today’s society is filled with angry people. It helps when we send “good vibes” and love out to everyone around us, those in our family, those we work with, and even the clerk in the store and the stranger walking down the street. A example of how to do this is called Ho-opono-pono. Here’s a link to an overview http://www.hooponoponohelp.com/.
5) Focus. Focus you mind on what you want, not on what you don’t want. When we have a problem we tend to focus on it and that only creates more of it. Our thoughts create our reality. Meaning, if we focus on how mad our spouse or boss is, you will get more of that. If we focus on not having enough money, that’s what we’ll get. Turn your thoughts around. Focus your thoughts on and visualize and feel, what it would be like for your boss to be nice or to have plenty of money to pay all your expenses and see what happens. Your mind is more powerful than any computer in the world and it controls our lives. Put it to good use and think about having what you want rather than what you don’t have. It works, whether on relationships, opportunities or anything else.
Count Your Blessing, Here’s a bonus secret. It’s probably the most important one. Stop and count the blessings you have now and say thank you for them. All of us, no matter where we are have something to be thankful for. When you appreciate and honor what you have other great things will come to you.
As we look at our lives from the solitude and darkness within, to the sunny landscape around us we realize each of us are very different and unique. We all have our own voice and spirit that is unique to us. No one else is exactly like us. As mentioned in my previous post Now Is The Time For Reflection, it’s important to take time, at least once per year, to take some personal, alone time to reflect on where we are now, if we are being true to ourselves and where we want to go in the future.
Even with this uniqueness there are some things that each of us needs, just like others around us. The Starwood Hotels group describes them as the Five Human Truths. They strive to fulfill them each time you are their guest. What is it that all of us need to feel good?
The 5 Human Truths
1) We need to be understood
2) We want to belong
3) We long to feel special
4) We crave more control over our lives
5) We dream of reaching our potential.
When you’re by yourself, reflecting on the future, be sure these basic needs as well as your unique needs are being met. If they are, life will be easier and feel more fulfilled.
We tend to attach our identity to one part of our lives. It could be work, “I’m an accountant”, “I work for 3M”, or it could be a person, “I’m Mary’s husband”. But aren’t you a whole lot more than that one thing?
Yes you are. As an example, your job does not define you and it shouldn’t consumer all your waking thoughts. Instead, honor all that you are and can be. When you think of yourself as a whole person, your work, your relationships, your artistic side, your love of sports, and your charitable activities you will be happier. That happiness will be projected out into the world and new people and opportunities will come your way.
So, how do you decide who you really are?
One way is to ask yourself the “I am …….” questions.
Get a piece of paper and write down “I am (a good person, happy, a good brother/husband/sister/wife)”.
As you do this it’s important to say the words out loud. Say what you are out loud, then write it down. It sounds simple, most good things are, but keep at it. Fill the page up with your wonderful traits, habits, talents, etc.
When you’re done say them out loud everyday. Soon, you’ll find yourself with more confidence, holding your head up high, being happier, living life with style, and show the world who you are. Then you’ll attract new people into your life and you’ll help each other to live your dreams.
Give it a try, it can’t hurt.
(I’d like to thank Denise Silvernail for introducing me to this technique. When your web site is up I’ll refer readers to you.)
