Memories of good times and special people from our past create very strong emotions. Sometimes it’s great happiness and feelings of being blessed by that special person, other times it creates regret towards what could of been or what you wished had happened. It’s different for everyone and each situation. Regardless, we can’t change the past. It is what it is and it’s all good! We must enjoy our good memories with positive thoughts and feelings, and learn a lesson from them. Then, we can file them away for later and move forward, not getting stuck in them and we then create new memories out of our bright future. As I like to say, our thoughts become our reality.
When we were young lovers and just married we planted a tiny maple tree in our back yard. Over the years, it has grown strong and tall. Our kids have done the same.
This is a short story about our family’s connection and love for our Family Maple Tree. Hope you feel it and enjoy it.
Maybe you will plant a Family Tree for your family. Enjoy!
Growing Up In The Shade of The Maple Tree
The term Tree of Life comes to mind as I relax under our beautiful, tall and wide-spread maple tree.
It began it’s awesome life as a “start”. It’s roots and legacy go back to grandma Ida’s yard, who knows where it was before that.
We planted it when we started having our kids some 30 years ago. It’s seen them, and us, go through all stages of life, with the good times and difficult times. That’s why I call our maple tree The Kids’ Tree or The Family Tree.
All the kids, including our son’s best friend Jason love our tree. Somehow it just makes them happy. Just being around it gives everyone pleasure, comfort, and peace of mind.
Really, it’s given much pleasure to all. It’s protected us from harsh summer temps. We take hot summer naps in it’s shade and dream of what could be. There have been large family Bar BQs and plenty of games and family discussions around it. We feel safe, protected, magical and invincible as it stands over us, so tall. It encourages us to go outside and sit quietly while we appreciate all we have and the blessings of mother nature.
The Family Maple Tree sheds its leaves in winter, and lets in the crisp blue sky between snow storms. We watch inside from the dinning room as the cold of winter comes and lays down a white blanket of snow all around it. The mood gets quiet and we listen to the sounds of winter. Every morning we rush to peer out the window to check if there are and animal or bird tracks in the new snow.
The tree has watched us grow into our married, adult roles and watched our babies grow up and have their babies.
It’s girth is bigger now, with yellowish green moss and other signs of aging, just like my wife and I. I guess that makes it a Grand Tree, just like we are now Grand Parents.
As the bible says, there is a season for everything. Now is the “planting season” for the next generation of kids and Maple Trees. So, I think it’s time for our grand kids to have their own Maple Tree so they too can play in it’s shade and to grow up under it while making memories and Kodak moments of their own.
Today, I think back to seeing that scrawny start of a tree sticking out of the ground, tied to a post for support, not realizing the pleasure it would bring our family through out our lifetime.
Thanks Family Maple Tree and our to kids and their friends for enjoying each other and making a happy family and happy life.
Love, Dad
With each new day I feel more and more lucky to be alive! I’m glad that I’m a Baby Boomer and still learning about life. Yes, there are a few clouds around but look how green life is. As I reduce my hours in Corporate America and have more time for myself, I’m learning to let go of and refocus some of my obsessions I’ve created while climbing the ladder.
Now it’s like opening a gate in my mind and throwing out the assumptions, bad habits, petty attitudes, judgements, goals that weren’t really mine, youthful obsessions and things that don’t mean as much to me anymore. I’ve outgrown some of the superficial things and I’m learning to spend my time on things that have more meaning to me. There’s less thinking about how much stuff I can accumulate. I’ve realized having the biggest house on the block doesn’t really matter to me. And, I’m remembering there are people in the world who are less fortunate than me and I might be able to make a positive impact on a few of them. A poster reminds me, “There are people in the world who are happy with less than you have.”
Our society tends to think aging is a bad thing, filled with physical and emotional pain and unhappiness. Is that the way you feel? You don’t have to. Helping yourself and others brings happiness to your heart and soul.
“It’s a very encouraging fact that we can expect to be happier in our early 80s than we were in our 20s,” Andrew J. Oswald, a professor of psychology at Warwick Business School, told the New York Times. “And it’s not being driven predominantly by things that happen in life. It’s something very deep and quite human that seems to be driving this.”
Throughout our mid life, the 30’s, 40’s and sometime into our 50’s we spend much of our daily lives doing tasks that we “have to do”. This can be exhausting. But, now it’s time for the real, authentic YOU to come out and show itself. What does that look like? Do you remember when you were the real you filled with excitement and be dreams. Now is the time to find your real soul and spirit. It may take time but it’s worth it, and now, you have more time for yourself.
One little trick to make sure you’re being you is, when you are doing something, working at a task, or doing anything, ask yourself:
1) Why am I doing this (task, project, whatever)?
2) Do I really want to do it? Does it benefit me?
3) Am I enjoying it, does it make me happy, do I feel good doing it, does it give me energy?
4) Or, does it sap all the life out of me. If this is your answer, it’s time to re-think how you’re spending your time. Do things that feel good and excite you and make you and the world better.
Thanks for stopping by. I hope you gained a little something while here.
Look forward to you sharing this, and coming back again.
Are you HAPPY? Really? I think being happy is the second most important skill you need in life. The first skill is to learn how to control your thoughts. Do you want to be HAPPY? We were happy as little kids, lets bring some of that happiness into our lives today.
All of us strive for many things through-out our life time. We want a nice family, loving spouse, good job, money to buy nice things, cars, houses, big screen TVs, a good education, travel and much more. All these things give us different levels of satisfaction that comes and goes, sometimes leaving us unsatisfied rather quickly and looking for the next new “thing”. In reality, what we really want is true, lasting, Happiness.
That’s what I want. All my life I’ve tried to be happy by working towards my next want or goal, always thinking that’s what would make me happy. My very smart wife has always told me that happiness comes from within, not from money or things. That’s been hard for me to believe. But now, I’ve discovered she’s right. Now I look within and choose happiness. Life is no longer a big struggle thanks to her wisdom.
Good old Honest Abe said it all when he said, “Most folks are just about as Happy as they make their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln, US President, self-educated lawyer, legislator, avid reader, husband and father.
For many of us, we are so busy in today’s hectic world that we don’t have time to think about what really makes us happy. But, you have a choice. Either you run the day, or the day runs you. Which is it for you?
Having searched for true happiness for most of my life, and studying people much smarter than me, I’ve found 5 short cuts to being happy.
One is Gratitude. Be grateful for all you have from the moment you get up in the morning. It’s important to be grateful for all you have been given and built in your life. When you’re grateful and have peace of mind and contentment, you become open to receive much more in life.
Two is Choice. Like Abe said above, choose to be happy, it’s your choice how you think about your life and circumstances. When it comes right down to it, WE have control of our brain, which creates our thoughts, which create our words, which create our daily reality. We have a choice, every day and every moment, to be happy and see the best in people and circumstances in our world, or to let negative people and events take us down and hold us back from being our best.
Three is Moment, be in the moment, in the NOW. When you’re depressed you’re thinking of the past, when you’re worried or fearful you’re thinking of the future. When you’re happy you’re thinking about what you’re doing right NOW. Explore the world, notice little things around you that make you feel good, play, be child like again. Mindful breathing can bring you back from all the “monkey thoughts” (see more under Control, below) and focus you in the moment. This will help you appreciate and enjoy life more.
Four is for Love, yourself that is. I find that “I am…” statements help you focus and create higher self-esteem and self-love. Instead of beating yourself up and being negative about yourself, try thinking and saying positive things in the present tense. Things like, I am Happy; I am strong; I am talented; I am healthy; I am liked; I am expressing my true self; I am helping others; I am loving and I am loving. Say those words to yourself throughout the day and you’ll be amazed at how much better you feel and how you great things begin happening. Before you can receive love, you must love yourself. Life is much easier when you do.
Five is Control, the thousands of thoughts you have every day. You are the owner of the world’s most powerful computer. Learn to make it work for you rather than against you. Every second of our lives we have the ability to choose our thoughts. They seem to come and go randomly. When I have to many, coming too fast, and they’re scattered all over different subjects, I call them “monkey thoughts”. They’re like little monkeys jumping from tree to tree, branch to branch, never settling very long. They drive me nuts, and make me confused. It’s hard to focus and be happy when this happens. So, take control of your thoughts and learn to drive your brain, program it to use positive, empowering thoughts.
Being happy and controlling your thoughts are the most import lessons you need to learn for a great life. I leave you with Gandhi’s words. Thanks for stopping by today. Be Happy!
Thoughts Become Things
As a last note, the people in Cannes, France have a Happy Song. When you’re having a tough day, sing and dance along with them.
As the Knight in Indiana Jones Last Crusade said, “You must choose, Choose wisely”, we are faced with hundreds of decisions every day. From the instant we awake to going to sleep we are making decisions that shape our lives. As you know, “your inner world, creates your outer world”. What you think about most and focus on is what you’ll get more of. You’re brain merely follows the instructions you give it, without question.
Choose Wisely!
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So, when you have a hard decision to make, or you’re struggling at your job or with your finances. Maybe you think your spouse is being mean or unreasonable or you just found out you have a serious physical problem.
Who do you go to for help and how do you listen to? You have lots of choices. Some are better than others. But, I’ll bet you are forgetting the most important person to list to.
Do you know who it is?
It’s YOU! Your brain is the most sophisticated computer in the world. It’s the words you use when you talk to yourself. Our parents gave us our original programing and it’s probably out of date. Is your software program up to date. Is it telling you the right things, for the current day? Probably not. Your original programing is filled with limiting factors that are holding you back from getting everything you want from life.
What can you do to improve your self talk? Upgrade to Operating System 2012.1. Wipe out your old limiting self talk and upgrade to enabling self talk.
Mark Twain is always good reading and good for motivating quotes. This one means a lot to me.
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
When you read it, see yourself doing what he says, throwing off the lines that are holding you back, erase that childhood programing that’s keeping you from leaving your safe harbor and sailing towards the real YOU, and doing what YOU want instead of what others want you to do.
So, unleash your sails, let the trade winds fill them and take you to your dreams. You’ll encounter both rough seas and smooth seas, that’s life, you can and will ride the sea of life and explore and dream and discover great things during your journey. In the end, you’ll be a happier and better person for it.
Pleasure and happiness can often be allusive. In order for a person to grow and find real pleasure it’s more satisfying to look inside yourself and create something original rather than go out and buy the “perfect thing” someone has mass produced. When you create something that comes from deep inside your Spirit it has more pleasure and meaning to you and others. At the same time it builds your Character. Something lacking in society today.
“When you create instead of consume, your capacity for pleasure increases, as opposed to your need for it.
Being a creator gives you a far more lasting and deeply satisfying happiness than consuming ever will.
The act of creation shapes you as a man, refines your sensibilities, improves your strengths, hones your concentration, and builds your character. Passive consumption leaves you untouched and unchanged. Consumptions breeds indifference; creation begets empowerment.
Creating can take many forms. The traditional ones are still some of the best: creating in your job, creating a life of love with your spouse and friends, and creating children. But there are other ways to create as well. Service to your community. Hobbies like gardening, blacksmithing, art, and music. Inventing, writing, blogging, political participation. Creating experiences for other people. Creating a spiritual life. And simply creating your character every day.” (by Brett & Kate McKay)
So, next time you’re feeling empty and wanting to buy something that will supposedly make you feel pleasure and be happy, stop and think about what you can create yourself be it an artfully crafted meal, a photo, playing a musical instrument or writing a passionate love letter.
Creating is within all of us, share it with the world.
With all the hate and anger that are going on in our lives today, next door, in our city, in our state and country and the whole world, and all the pain and negative events and injustices put upon us, NOW is the time for each of us to stand our ground and have COURAGE. To speak up for our values and what we stand for and also sit down and truly listen to each other, for listening is equally important (although often overlooked) and speaking.
Families, even mine, are splintered by mental and physical pain some members inflict upon others and the same in return.
“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes
to sit down and listen.” Winston Churchill
I pray that each of you who read this will sit down and truly listen to others and meet in the middle, come to a compromise, share love, and mend broken promises and dreams.
Have courage to make the first move towards peace in your family and the world. Give your love and give peace to others.
“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”
Love, Courage, Listening, Forgiving, Inspiring and Dreaming are what makes life worth living.
Thanks for visiting, peace, inspire all those you touch, John
