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6 Tips To Help A Dying Parent

6 Tips To Help A Dying Parent

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Saying Goodbye
Saying Goodbye

As we grow older, so do our parents and loved ones.  When they are nearing the end of this life, it can be stressful for them and us.  Now is the time to remember, comfort and forgive.

My Mother died last year and my Father is in his last days.  Through this experience I’ve found a few things that will ease their transition to the afterlife.

#1.  Focus your efforts on listening to what they want.  Really listen to them and they’ll tell you how they want their last days to be.  Focus on making them comfortable physically and emotionally.

#2.  Mend the hurts and misunderstandings that have come from both sides through-out your lives.  Take the high road and smooth things out.

#3.  Thank them for all they’ve done for you since you were born.  Tell them how grateful you are that they’re your Mom or Dad.  Thank them for all they’ve taught you about life and relationships and making a good life.  Ask them to forgive you, tell them you forgive them.  Tell them they’ve made a positive impact on you and your family and all those they’ve interacted with.  Put them at ease, that their life was important.

#4.  Memories are important.  Sit and talk with them and remember specific times and events and tell them how they made a difference in your life.  Take note, record their words, go through old photos.  Talk about their legacy and how they’ll be remembered.  This is the time to embelish a little if you have to and make them feel loved and wanted.  They need to know they’ll be missed.

#5.  Estate.  Make sure their estate is in order.  They need an executor or trustee with access to all financial accounts.  Put these is order now for face the courts and red tape by yourself after they’re gone.  It’s much easier now.  Decide who will get the favorite chair and dining room table, etc.  Find out what their wishes are.

#6.  Say Goodbye.  At some point in time, you’ll know when, it’s important for you to say goodbye.  Tell them they are loved and appreciated and will be missed.

These are the most important things to do and say before your loved one passes on.  It will mean a lot to both of you when you share your love with them.

Thanks for stopping by, John

Mom and Dad

Mom and Dad

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One thing you and I, as aging Boomers, are starting to face is the death of our parents. I’ve been lucky as Dad is 96 and Mom lived to be 93.

But now, she is gone………..

“Memories of our lives, or our works and deeds will continue in others.” Rosa Parks

On July 7th, 2012, as I was waiting for a fallen state troopers funeral procession to pass, my Mom passed away. For some reason I was meant to solemnly experience the grief of the Troopers mourners rather than to be at Mom’s side during her passing. I’ve heard it said, “Even death has a heart.”. I guess it’s true.

“Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.” Isaac Asimov

And so it was with Mom. She enjoyed life, getting the most out of each moment and sharing it with her sons and others. You could tell when something touched her, she would use phrases like, “It’s just wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.”. “Look how RED the earth is here.”. She would say to my wife, “when we’re together every moment is a holiday.”

“Every mans life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another.” Ernest Hemingway

As they removed Mom’s body, a gusty wind blew hard, holding the door open, the rain began, and lightening and thunder were in the sky. And then it was quiet again, the cleansing and passing complete.

Now, memories of her passion and love are all we have.

I miss you already, love, your son, John.

Death

Death

Comments 0 Comment

“Memories of our lives, or our works and deeds will continue in others.” Rosa Parks

On July 7th, 2012, as I was waiting for a fallen state troopers funeral procession to pass, my Mom passed away. For some reason I was meant to solemnly experience the grief of the Troopers mourners rather than to be at Mom’s side during her passing. I’ve heard it said, “Even death has a heart.”. I guess it’s true.

“Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.” Isaac Asimov

And so it was with Mom. She enjoyed life, getting the most out of each moment and sharing it with her sons and others. You could tell when something touched her, she would use phrases like, “It’s just wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.”. “Look how RED the earth is here.”. She would say to my wife, “when we’re together every moment is a holiday.”

“Every mans life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another.” Ernest Hemingway

As they removed Mom’s body, a gusty wind blew hard, holding the door open, the rain began, and lightening and thunder were in the sky. And then it was quiet again, the cleansing and passing complete.

Now, memories of her passion and love are all we have.

I miss you already, love, your son, John.