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How to Believe in Yourself

How to Believe in Yourself

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Believing You Can Do It!
Believing You Can Do It by Yourself!

 

Some people are very confident in themselves right from the start of live.  Others aren’t so much, and many are in between.  Here are some tips on how to turn that around and truly believe in yourself and do the things you love and create your perfect life!

Here we go….

How to Believe in Yourself in the Face of Overwhelming Self-Doubt

By

Stand Strong

“When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.” ~Honore de Balzac

You know what that voice in your head says…

You can’t do it. You’ll never be good enough. You’re going to fail.

This voice taunts you whenever you set a goal. It criticizes you when life gets difficult. It beats you down when you struggle to stand up against its running commentary.

You know you shouldn’t let self-doubt bother you, but it’s a sneaky critter. Sometimes, you just can’t contain it and it slips past your barriers.

And self-doubt is greedy. When it’s loose, it devours your confidence, strips logic and reason from your mind, and steals happiness from your heart. In return, it leaves you with only fear and insecurity.

You try to remove self-doubt by forcing yourself to “think positive,” which usually doesn’t work as well as you think it should.

The more you fight your self-doubt, the more it fights back. However, with self-knowledge and understanding, you can use self-doubt for your benefit.

A Story about Crushing Dreams and “Being Realistic”

When I was a child, I was in love with drawing. For me, drawing was as exciting as going to the playground.

At some point in my childhood, I decided I’d become an artist of some kind. But the critics in my life were quick to cut me down. I’ll bet you’ve heard the same kind of clichés:

“Art is great but not a ‘realistic’ future goal. While it’s a nice hobby to have, you can’t really make a living out of it. You’ll just be another starving artist.”

As children, we internalize these negative messages and parrot them back. If the adults say so, it must be true, right? By adulthood, every time we have a small hope, we’re the first to snuff it out:

“Drawing is nice but not necessary. I’ll never be as good as the real professionals anyway. I don’t even have a degree from an accredited art school.”

For years I stopped myself before I even tried. I did it because I was afraid.

I was afraid of what people would say. I was afraid everyone would hate my art. I was afraid of failing as an artist.

When fear grabs you, your beloved goal forever feels out of reach. But it doesn’t just stop there, does it?

If left unchecked, the infectious bite of fear and self-doubt can spread. You unconsciously start questioning your knowledge and abilities in everything you do. And if you’re like me, you desperately want to find a cure.

One fateful day I realized that trying to beat out my self-doubt wouldn’t rebuild my confidence.

If I wanted to believe in myself, I needed to face my self-doubt and be willing to take care of it.

Before, I imagined self-doubt as a life-sucking monster. Now, I realize it’s actually a fearful, angry, and lost creature secretly crying for help.

Like fear, joy, and sadness, doubt is part of human nature, and it needs understanding. If you want to improve yourself, you need to tame your self-doubt, not fight with it.

That means paying attention to how you react to things, understanding the root of your insecurities, and taking steps to address your fears.

Now I no longer tell myself, “I’ll never be a good enough artist.” Instead, I ask myself, “What can I do to become better?” And I take baby steps.

I went from drawing every few weeks, to every week, and now every two to three days. Re-framing self-doubt has also helped me cope with other challenges, like successfully starting a small business.

Self-doubt doesn’t have to be as monstrous as we make it out to be. It’s all about perspective. The following tips will help you manage your self-doubt.

Identify and ease your doubts.

Learning how to recognize when your self-talk takes a turn for the worse is crucial. When you hear yourself saying, “I can’t,” or, “I don’t know,” or, “What if,” a red flag should go up.

Instead of telling yourself, “I can’t do X,” say, “I can’t do X yet. But I’m working on it.”

Or if you start wondering, “What if I fail?” you can respond by saying, “Then I’ll try again.”

Doing this transforms a negative situation into an opportunity for growth. In the end, it’s about giving yourself a chance.

Stop listening to toxic people.

Toxic people are convinced that everything is impossible, and they are quick to shoot down ideas. They’ll poison your mind into a state of hopelessness.

Don’t let them steal your energy just because they’ve lost theirs.

Instead, surround yourself with supportive and passionate people who can both inspire you and bring out the best in you. You can find them among friends, family, books, or blogs like Tiny Buddha.

They will lift you up when you feel down and help you see the bright side of your darkest fears and doubts.

Recall your successes.

This one is tough. When you’re down, you’ll more easily remember the bad instead of the good. And oftentimes, the “rah-rah” pep talk just doesn’t cut it.

So, I suggest writing a list. Grab a piece of paper or small notebook, or open a blank document. Now write down your successes, big or small.

If you’re a bit bashful about your achievements, ask someone you trust to tell you the great things they think you’ve done. It’s refreshing and a great confidence boost.

And finally, keep your list with you at all times. It will help you find your way back to yourself whenever you get lost.

Trust and love yourself.

You probably spend more time being your own worst enemy instead of being your own best friend.

But you deserve to treat yourself better. After all, you have the rest of your life to spend with yourself.

Think of it this way: Would you mentally abuse or condemn your loved ones? Would you let them suffer in their time of need? If not, then why would you do it to yourself?

So, be kind to yourself. You are more capable and worthy than you give yourself credit for.

Give yourself permission to try…and try again.

Self-doubt never disappears. Over time, you just get better at dealing with it.

It will greet you every time you fall out of your comfort zone and whenever you strive to do something great.

But know that it’s not something you have to fear or resent. Your doubts are only thoughts, not your future.

Sure, something may go wrong. But if you never try, you’re losing an opportunity to improve your life.

Are you willing to risk that instead?

This advice came from our friends at Tiny Buddha.com.  A great blog, worth following.

How to Believe in Yourself in the Face of Overwhelming Self-Doubt

Thanks for stopping by, come back soon, John

In Life, Choose Wisely

In Life, Choose Wisely

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As the Knight in Indiana Jones Last Crusade said, “You must choose, Choose wisely”, we are faced with hundreds of decisions every day.  From the instant we awake to going to sleep we are making decisions that shape our lives.  As you know, “your inner world, creates your outer world”.  What you think about most and focus on is what you’ll get more of.  You’re brain merely follows the instructions you give it, without question.

Choose Wisely!

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Brain Re-programmed for Happiness and Success

Brain Re-programmed for Happiness and Success

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Most often I write my own posts. But, there are times when I find something by someone else that powerful and needs to be shared. This is one of those times.

This article, from Success Magazine, talks about how the things in your head, thoughts, usually are automatic, pre-programmed from your past. I good, positive, loving, helping thoughts were pre-programmed then you’re doing well.

Most people, however, are not that lucky. They have lots of limiting and negative thoughts. You don’t have to act on and live those bad thoughts and limit your life! Assess, review your pre-programmed thoughts and replace them with positive and empowering thoughts and watch how your life improves.

Here’s the article:

What’s In Your Head Determines What’s In Your Wallet
Acquiring the Attitude of Abundance
Darren Hardy April 25, 2011

Look Within or Go Without

In the book The Instant Millionaire by Mark Fisher, the old millionaire asks the boy who has sought his advice, “Why aren’t you rich already?” That’s a good question to ask yourself. We live in an era of unprecedented wealth and opportunity. More people have become wealthy in the last 20 years than any other time in human history—why haven’t you? Your answer to this question will reveal a lot about yourself. Your answers will expose your self-limiting beliefs, your doubts, your fears, your excuses, your rationalizations and maybe some justifications.

Reprogram Your Mental Hard Drive

One of the greatest limitations to achieving financial abundance is a deep-seated belief that somehow money is wrong and people who have a lot of it are inherently evil. This belief is invented fiction. It goes back to early childhood conditioning when a growing child is often told this because of other people’s envy or desire to rationalize away their own financial failures.

The fact is money is good. It takes money to build hospitals, churches and shelters. Money is also needed to buy homes, cars, clothes, food, vacations and other glorious experiences in life. Life is limitless abundance. To acquire money is not to take it away from someone else. Money is granted to the creator, the one who has built something where nothing existed before. Money is the instrument of exchange for valued production. Money is earned only by the producer. The accumulation of wealth is accomplished only by consistently applied effort and discipline. Money has an energy of its own, and it is largely attracted to people who understand its virtues and respect its power. Money tends to flow toward those people who can use it in the most productive ways to produce valuable goods and services, and who can invest it to create employment and opportunities that benefit others. At the same time, money flows away from those who use it poorly, or who spend it in nonproductive ways.

To Have More, You Must Become More

You have heard the phrase, “water seeks its own level,” right? Fortunately, or unfortunately (depending on your level), the same is true about money. Money will meet you where you are. Stated another way, your net worth will equal your self-worth. These are not just clever quips, they are wise truths—and stark realities for some. We all have read the stories about someone who earns $30,000 a year and wins $5 million, $10 million or $20 million in the lottery, then within one to three years they have spent it all and are back to making $30,000 a year, living paycheck-to-paycheck. We’ve watched once-wealthy celebrities also play out that saga. Why does this happen? The money was far greater than their level of self-perceived value. The disproportionate money to self-esteem ratio made them uncomfortable. At an unconscious level they did whatever they could to try to rebalance the inequity—ultimately losing it all—thus returning to the comfort level of their self-worth. As Jim Rohn says, “If you win a million dollars, the first thing you should do is become a millionaire.” So learn the character, habits, disciplines and, most importantly, attitudes of a millionaire.

Is your attitude about money attracting it to you or pushing it away? If we build a negative relationship with the dollar bill, it’s reflected in our thoughts, feelings and actions. Worry is one of the most costly attitudes. Worry is a fear emotion. Fearful thoughts deplete your creative energies and inhibit your ability to make smart choices and take progressive action, which ends up pushing us farther away from prosperity.

Conversely, when we have an attitude of abundance we attract money toward us. This isn’t voodoo; it’s plain and simple. You see what you are looking for and get what you expect. When we are confident about money and grateful for what we have, it changes how we see things, how we talk and how we act. This mindset, outlook and behavior stimulate your inner creativity and attract other like-minded people and circumstances that come with money-making insights and opportunities. Positive, ambitious, abundance-minded people like to associate and do business with people of the same ilk. They avoid those with nervous or pessimistic attitudes about what’s possible.

Getting Money Flowing to You

What would make you happy and boost your sense of well-being? You might be surprised. You may realize you really don’t require any more money than you already have. Sometimes a simple change in attitude is all that’s needed to feel good about your life. People often think, “If only I could get a promotion or a new car, I’d be happy.”

Take inventory of the great wealth you already have. Ask yourself, “What do I feel grateful for in my life?” Take a couple of minutes right now to write it down. Show that list to most people around the world and they will indeed call you wealthy. Feel thankful for all you have, and you will feel instantly wealthy. Once you feel wealthy you will continue to think wealthy and act wealthy, and it will charge the magnet that will attract more wealth to you.

People become wealthy because they decide to become wealthy. Those who believe they can become wealthy and are worthy of great financial wealth are the ones who will be. Because they believe this completely, they act accordingly. They consistently take the necessary actions that turn their beliefs into realities. Decide now that you are worthy of great wealth, and it will be your first step toward great prosperity.

America is the “land of milk and honey.” Opportunity is everywhere. No matter where you look, you will find someone pursuing their dream and being rewarded with great abundance. For centuries, people have sacrificed life and limb just to get here. You are here. People with far more difficulties and much greater obstacles and limitations have gone on to become incredibly wealthy—why not you? People who are less intelligent, poorer, who had more difficult childhoods, fewer privileges and no support have gone on to make great fortunes. So can you. If you think you can, you will. Your attitude will determine your destiny.

Thanks for stopping by. Hope you enjoyed it and learned something to make your life better.
It’s all between your ears. Thanks, John