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Growing Up In The Shade of The Maple Tree

Growing Up In The Shade of The Maple Tree

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mapletreegreen
Our Family Maple Tree

When we were young lovers and just married we planted a tiny maple tree in our back yard.  Over the years, it has grown strong and tall.  Our kids have done the same.

This is a short story about our family’s connection and love for our Family Maple Tree.  Hope you feel it and enjoy it.

Maybe you will plant a Family Tree for your family.  Enjoy!

Growing Up In
 The Shade of The Maple Tree

The term Tree of Life comes to mind as I relax under our beautiful, tall and wide-spread maple tree.

It began it’s awesome life as a “start”.   It’s roots and legacy go back to grandma Ida’s yard, who knows where it was before that.

We planted it when we started having our kids some 30 years ago. It’s seen them, and us, go through all stages of life, with the good times and difficult times.  That’s why I call our maple tree The Kids’ Tree or The Family Tree.

All the kids, including our son’s best friend Jason love our tree. Somehow it just makes them happy. Just being around it gives everyone pleasure, comfort, and peace of mind.
Really, it’s given much pleasure to all.  It’s protected us from harsh summer temps. We take hot summer naps in it’s shade and dream of what could be.  There have been large family Bar BQs and plenty of games and family discussions around it.  We feel safe, protected, magical and invincible as it stands over us, so tall.  It encourages us to go outside and sit quietly while we appreciate all we have and the blessings of mother nature.

The Family Maple Tree sheds its leaves in winter, and lets in the crisp blue sky between snow storms. We watch inside from the dinning room as the cold of winter comes and lays down a white blanket of snow all around it.  The mood gets quiet and we listen to the sounds of winter. Every morning we rush to peer out the window to check if there are and animal or bird tracks in the new snow.

The tree has watched us grow into our married, adult roles and watched our babies grow up and have their babies.

It’s girth is bigger now, with yellowish green moss and other signs of aging, just like my wife and I.   I guess that makes it a Grand Tree, just like we are now Grand Parents.

As the bible says, there is a season for everything. Now is the “planting season” for the next generation of kids and Maple Trees. So, I think it’s time for our grand kids to have their own Maple Tree so they too can play in it’s shade and to grow up under it while making memories and Kodak moments of their own.

Today, I think back to seeing that scrawny start of a tree sticking out of the ground, tied to a post for support, not realizing the pleasure it would bring our family through out our lifetime.

Thanks Family Maple Tree and our to kids and their friends for enjoying each other and making a happy family and happy life.
Love, Dad

© John McFadden 2015

 

Dreams and Greatness

Dreams and Greatness

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IMG_1005                                                                     Sweet Dreams

Your Are Great!

Every one of us has dreams for our lives.  Some only dream and some take action, some give up and some keep going until our dream becomes our reality.

I found this quote, don’t know who wrote it, but I think it gives us hope.

“Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and the thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself”.

Pretty good advice if you ask me. Add this to your Vision Board and read it everyday.  You’ll be surprised at what happens.

“A dream not written down is merely a wish”.  Make your Dream a Goal!

Have a great day, John

Depression, Even Boomers Suffer From It

Depression, Even Boomers Suffer From It

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As we goes through life our circumstances such as job, friends, death of someone close, family and relationships gradually change.  All these can cause Depression.  Most often depression effects us physically and well as emotionally.  Usually, it’s so subtle we don’t even notice it.  Then one day we find it getting harder and harder to even get out of bed. Some Boomers feel like they don’t know where they fit into the working world, their role in their family and society, and they worry about the future, retirement, and health.  They are entering into a time of life very different that anything they’ve ever experienced.  It’s difficult to have your body age and not being able to do things that used to be so easy.  If you think about it, your 50th birthday is truly the mark of middle age.  You have your life or less to live.

When it gets to that level, it’s time to do some soul searching and re-evaluating of your life.   Make sure you’re living life by your standards and expectations not someone else’s.  Ask yourself are you investing time in your relationships, and things that you enjoy, such as photography, music, hiking, running or exploring the world.

Depression, according to Merriam-Webster is, “a state of feeling sad : dejection (2) : a psychoneurotic or psychotic disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal tendencies.”

So, what causes us to feel this way?  Webmd.com says, “Depression is an extremely complex disease. It occurs for a variety of reasons. Some people experience depression during a serious medical illness. Others may have depression with life changes such as a move or the death of a loved one. Still others have a family history of depression. Those who do may experience depression and feel overwhelmed with sadness and loneliness for no known reason.”

So, what do we do about these feelings?  Depending how severe it is, definitely see your doctor.  There are a wide variety of medications that can you you feel yourself again.  In addition, there are simple steps to help you start feeling better.

One of the most important things you can do, and it can be hard but well worth it, is to pull the Positive Thinking and Talking to Yourself card.  I can’t stress enough how important this is.  It’s up to you how you react to situations, what you believe in, what you believe you are and what you say to yourself and to others.  One of the most powerful quotes I’ve heard, and I use everyday is that “Thoughts Become Things”.  Our brains are Creating Machines, and WE decide what we Create with our Thoughts and Words.   Admittedly, this can be hard, especially if your depression is in your family genetics or a chemical imbalance.  That’s no reason to give up and not try to help yourself feel better!

Your quality of life is in your “hands” (brain, thoughts, words).  You are creating your Tomorrow with the thoughts and words you have Today!  Make your thoughts work For you rather than Against you.

Here is a great article from psychcentral.com to help you get started.  A better life awaits you!  Thanks for reading, John

After trying 23 medication combinations, 7 psychiatrists, two hospitalization programs, and every form of alternative therapy available–from homeopathic remedies to yoga, I assumed I was one of those unfortunate statistics with treatment-resistant depression, a Humpty-Dumpty type that would never recover from the fall of a nervous breakdown.

There was no magic that happened between then and now, the month my book about my recovery hits the shelves. I just kept on getting out of bed. Even on the days where my thoughts were cemented in the black stuff, in negativity and toxic emotions, I tried to pick up one foot and place it in front on the next.

Here are the tools I picked up along the way, the basic lessons that help me in my mission to stay Beyond Blue, or at least out of black for as long as possible.

1. Laugh.

From my 12 years of therapy I have learned at least one thing: I use sarcasm as a defense mechanism. But I’m keeping the jokes and the acerbic tone because Abe Lincoln and Art Buchwald, two of my mental health heroes, said wit was essential to sanity, that comedy can keep a person out of the psych ward (not really). And if you’re laughing, you’re not crying … even though the two look similar from 10 feet away.

2. Sweat.

As a recovering addict, I love any buzz I can get. Working out–any exercise that gets my heart rate over 140 beats per minute (into the cardiovascular zone) does the job. And in a safe way, so I don’t have to cheat on my sobriety. I’m probably as addicted to exercise as I was to booze, but this is one mood-altering activity that doesn’t deteriorate my marriage and my other relationships.

The right kind of exercise actually acts like an antidepressant: increasing the activity of serotonin and/or norepinephrine in your brain and releasing those coveted endorphins and other hormones that reduce pain, induce euphoria, have a calming effect, and combat stress.

3. Eat the right stuff.

The more I investigate–both through research and nonscientific experiments with body–the more I realize how my diet affects my mood.

Here are the bad boys: nicotine, caffeine (it’s a drug, which is why I’m addicted to it), alcohol, white flour and processed food (what you live on when you have kids who won’t touch tofu and spinach); and sugar … that’s a whole other blog post.

Here are the good guys: protein (eggs, milk, cheese, yogurt, meat, fish, chicken, seeds, nuts); complex starches (whole grains, beans, potatoes); vegetables (broccoli, spinach, squash); vitamins (vitamin B-complex, vitamins E and C, and a multivitamin); minerals (magnesium, calcium, and zinc); and omega-3 fatty acids.

4. Sleep!

Sleep is crucial to sanity. Let me repeat: Sleep is crucial to sanity.

Because sleep disturbances can contribute to, aggravate, and even cause mood disorders and a host of other illnesses. You see, if you’re not sleeping, your brain doesn’t have an opportunity to do all the stuff it needs to do without the constant interruption of your thoughts. The brain works night shifts. And when it doesn’t get all the work it needs to do done … well, it gets a tad irritable, like you do when you can’t get your work done. And it takes it out on you.

According to one recent study, sleep deprivation can cause a decline in cognitive performance similar to the intoxicated brain. That’s right! Drunks can reason and judge better than you if you’ve gone too long without getting some zzzzs.

5. Light up.

Have you ever noticed all the crabby behavior in November and December?

Changes in the amounts of daylight a person gets alters circadian rhythms, the internal biological clock which governs fluctuation in body temperature and the secretion of several hormones, including the evil one, Cortisol. When a person gets less daylight than she needs, her circadian rhythm starts to act like a high-maintenance houseguest – getting all flustered over small stuff (i.e. the wrong kind of soap). That’s why light treatment is so effective for fragile human beings like me. If I can’t get outside for at least a half hour a day, I try to sit under my mammoth HappyLite, a lamp with 10,000 lux, and think happy thoughts.

6. Rely on friends.

I used to be a loyal support-group kind of girl. But since I’ve had kids, getting to meetings is much more difficult. So I’ve found my support in other ways–in phone calls and e-mails and visits to friends and relatives who also suffer from depression or bipolar disorder. That lifeline kept me alive during my suicidal days, and continues to empower me every single day.

During the darker days of my depression, I walked around with six phone numbers in my pocket. Because I didn’t want to wear out any one friend or relative, I’d call two people a day, and rotate the numbers. I spent hours on the phone and writing e-mails and visiting friends because I needed constant support.

(from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/01/25/6-steps-toward-freedom-from-depression/)

Courage Is Needed Today

Courage Is Needed Today

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Courage To Get Back Up

 

With all the hate and anger that are going on in our lives today, next door, in our city, in our state and country and the whole world, and all the pain and negative events and injustices put upon us, NOW is the time for each of us to stand our ground and have COURAGE. To speak up for our values and what we stand for and also sit down and truly listen to each other, for listening is equally important (although often overlooked) and speaking.

Families, even mine, are splintered by mental and physical pain some members inflict upon others and the same in return.

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes
to sit down and listen.” Winston Churchill

I pray that each of you who read this will sit down and truly listen to others and meet in the middle, come to a compromise, share love, and mend broken promises and dreams.

Have courage to make the first move towards peace in your family and the world.  Give your love and give peace to others.

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”

Love, Courage, Listening, Forgiving, Inspiring and Dreaming are what makes life worth living.

Thanks for visiting, peace, inspire all those you touch, John

©John McFadden, 2011

Complaining, Whinning, and Griping

Complaining, Whinning, and Griping

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Whinning

I received this in an email this morning.  Complaining, whinning, griping are so easy to do, and often it’s our first reaction to a bump in our road.  Trouble is, it’s not productive and it sets up a roadblock to the things in life you want and dream about it.

Here’s what the Secret says:

From The Secret Daily Teachings

If you are complaining about things in your life, you are on the complaining frequency, and you are not in a position to attract what you want.

Get on to the frequency of good with your thoughts and words. Firstly you will feel good, and secondly you will be on the frequency of receiving more good.
May the joy be with you,

Rhonda Byrne
The Secret and The Power… bringing joy to billions

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That makes sense to me, how about you?

Let’s remember to be more positive and see the possibilities when life takes the bumpy road.

Have a great day, thanks for stopping by, John

©john mcfadden, March 2011

Career Stress

Career Stress

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Relax

Are you stressed out from work, family, problems, set backs, or just plan old everyday life?

Then take some time to regenerate your inner batteries.  Meditation helps charge those batteries and can be done almost anywhere.

I wrote this meditation to help with career and work stresses.  You can adapted it to any stress you have in life.  Give it a try, you’ll feel better.

So here  we go………..

Career Stress Meditation

Now we’re going to improve your thoughts and life in relationship to your Career.

Choose and prepare where you will meditate today.  Choose a quiet spot where you won’t be disturbed.  Lower the lights, maybe light a candle.  If you want, turn on some quiet, soft music.

Get comfortable and relaxed, laying down or sitting down.

Take a deep breath and close your eyes.

Relax you body, your shoulders, arms, hands, fingers, legs, feet, and toes.

Breath deeply, inhaling slowly, holding it for a moment, then exhale through your open mouth as if you’re gently blowing out a candle.

Continue breathing, slowly, breathe in and out.

In and out, In and out.

Keep your mind focused on your breathing, slowly, gently, and deeply. Feel each breath going through your body.  Do so for two or three minutes.

Now, feel your whole body going into a deep relaxation. Feel your neck, your shoulders, your lower back, your chest, your heart, your arms, your hands, your fingers.  Shake them loose.

Take another deep breath, exhale slowly. Now your hips are relaxed, your legs, your feet and toes.  Wiggle your toes.

Now, breathing slowly, visualize yourself at your work.  Visualize the physical space you spend your working time in.

Notice how you feel, your muscles, your jaw, your neck and back, your mind and your heart.  How do you feel being in the area you work in?  Is it a desk, your home office, an assembly line, a retail store, wherever it is, visualize and feel that space.

Look around, there’s your customers, your co-workers, your boss. What do you feel like in your space?  Are you happy there, stressed, angry, unhappy, unappreciated?

Is it time for change?  Visualize and feel where you would be in your new environment.

Take a deep breath and exhale, relax, and breath again.  Feel these negative feelings fading.  Feel them flowing out of your fingers, the bottom of your feet and all the pores of your body.

Visualize a blue mist surrounding you.  The mist is blue as it is the color of truth, serenity and harmony, and helps to soothe the mind. It is good for cooling, calming, reconstructing and protecting.  It calms the body and mind, raising your frequency to attract the perfect people and opportunities for you.

From today on you will feel positive and relaxed about your life and career.  Life is good today and you’re starting a wonderful new journey.

Stay relaxed, breath in and out.

Now, in this relaxed state, think about how you want to feel at work and career.  What needs to change?  In your mind visualize being relaxed and happy.  Remember, you are bigger than your job.  Your identity is not defined by your job.  You are a unique, talented, skilled and complete person with a mission in life only you can complete.

Meditate on what you would be doing and how you will feel when you’re on the right path.  Take your time, visualizing every element.  Focus on how your want to feel, not every little detail.  The universe will fill in the details.

Maybe it’s still at your current job and things have changed for the better?  Is it somewhere new? What area, country, city or state are you in?  Are you inside or outside, with others or alone, are you working with your hands or your mind?  How do you feel there?  Feel your happiness and satisfaction.  Continue visualizing the perfect place for you and feel as if you are already there.

Continue this process until you have created the complete vision.  It may take several meditations before you see it clearly. With deep thought and searching you will be able to create your vision, one that is uniquely yours.

Now, take a very deep breath and release it slowly.  Feel your new energy and mental clarity.

Breath in and out.  You have begun your journey.  Keep this feeling alive in your heart and mind and use it daily.

Take a few more deep breaths and slowly open our eyes.  Sit for a minute to adjust to the light and energy in the room.

You create your own energy regardless of the situation you are in physically.  Keep your energy strong and stay on your journeys path.

Stand up, shake your body loose, now, take another step towards your new life.  Life is good today.

Now go into the world and be happy and spread love and acceptance.

 

Thanks for visiting.

Written and copyrighted © by John McFadden, May 2010.

“It’s only words, and words are all I have”

“It’s only words, and words are all I have”

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Our brain is the most powerful computer in the Universe.

The Words we say to ourselves consciously and subconsciously determine our lives.  We must have a constant vigil of our words.  Use positive, re-enforcing, motivating and passionate words to create the life you want.

When we say, “I knew I couldn’t do it”, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. But, when we say, “I know I can do this”, that too is a self-fulfilling prophecy!  It’s the same number of words, it takes the same amount of effort to think or say.  Which would you rather use?

This is a great quote to help you remember the power of YOUR WORDs:

“Watch your thoughts; they become words.

Watch your words; they become actions.

Watch your actions, they become habits.

Watch your habits, they become character.

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”

-Frank Outlaw

As your mother used to tell you, “Watch your words my dear!”

Your words can make you HAPPY, or sad, it’s your choice!

Thanks, come back soon.

(© by John McFadden, 2011)

Service and Success, Albert Einstein Quote

Service and Success, Albert Einstein Quote

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Seventy Years Loving and Helping One Another

Frequently, I find quotes that deserve to be shared with you.  This is one of them.

With the greed on Wall Street  and other negative elements in life, and the terrible, brutal assaults on children and even strangers, everyone needs to step back and evaluate what is important in life.

“It is high time the ideal of success should be replaced with the ideal of service…. Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile. ” —Albert Einstein

As the Beatles sang, “All You Need Is Love”.  Spread your love in the world and you will get the same in return.

Love to all.

Come back soon.

Five Human Truths

Five Human Truths

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As we look at our lives from the solitude and darkness within, to the sunny landscape around us we realize each of us are very different and unique.  We all have our own voice and spirit that is unique to us.  No one else is exactly like us. As mentioned in my previous post Now Is The Time For Reflection, it’s important to take time, at least once per year, to take some personal, alone time to reflect on where we are now, if we are being true to ourselves and where we want to go in the future.

Even with this uniqueness there are some things that each of us needs, just like others around us.  The Starwood Hotels group describes them as the Five Human Truths.  They strive to fulfill them each time you are their guest.    What is it that all of us need to feel good?

The 5 Human Truths

1)  We need to be understood

2)  We want to belong

3)  We long to feel special

4)  We crave more control over our lives

5)  We dream of reaching our potential.

When you’re by yourself, reflecting on the future, be sure these basic needs as well as your unique needs are being met.  If they are, life will be easier and feel more fulfilled.

You deserve to Live Well and be the real YOU!

Do You Know Who You Are, really?

Do You Know Who You Are, really?

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We tend to attach our identity to one part of our lives.  It could be work, “I’m an accountant”, “I work for 3M”, or it could be a person, “I’m Mary’s husband”.  But aren’t you a whole lot more than that one thing?

Yes you are.  As an example, your job does not define you and it shouldn’t consumer all your waking thoughts.  Instead, honor all that you are and can be.  When you think of yourself as a whole person, your work, your relationships, your artistic side, your love of sports, and your charitable activities you will be happier.  That happiness will be projected out into the world and new people and opportunities will come your way.

So, how do you decide who you really are?

One way is to ask yourself the “I am …….” questions.

Get a piece of paper and write down “I am (a good person, happy, a good brother/husband/sister/wife)”.

As you do this it’s important to say the words out loud.  Say what you are out loud, then write it down.  It sounds simple, most good things are, but keep at it.  Fill the page up with your wonderful traits, habits, talents, etc.

When you’re done say them out loud everyday.  Soon, you’ll find yourself with more confidence, holding your head up high, being happier, living life with style, and show the world who you are.  Then you’ll attract new people into your life and you’ll help each other to live your dreams.

Give it a try, it can’t hurt.

(I’d like to thank Denise Silvernail for introducing me to this technique. When your web site is up I’ll refer readers to you.)