Moving Soon
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Five Short Cuts to Being Happy
Are you HAPPY? Really? I think being happy is the second most important skill you need in life. The first skill is to learn how to control your thoughts. Do you want to be HAPPY? We were happy as little kids, lets bring some of that happiness into our lives today.
All of us strive for many things through-out our life time. We want a nice family, loving spouse, good job, money to buy nice things, cars, houses, big screen TVs, a good education, travel and much more. All these things give us different levels of satisfaction that comes and goes, sometimes leaving us unsatisfied rather quickly and looking for the next new “thing”. In reality, what we really want is true, lasting, Happiness.
That’s what I want. All my life I’ve tried to be happy by working towards my next want or goal, always thinking that’s what would make me happy. My very smart wife has always told me that happiness comes from within, not from money or things. That’s been hard for me to believe. But now, I’ve discovered she’s right. Now I look within and choose happiness. Life is no longer a big struggle thanks to her wisdom.
Good old Honest Abe said it all when he said, “Most folks are just about as Happy as they make their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln, US President, self-educated lawyer, legislator, avid reader, husband and father.
For many of us, we are so busy in today’s hectic world that we don’t have time to think about what really makes us happy. But, you have a choice. Either you run the day, or the day runs you. Which is it for you?
Having searched for true happiness for most of my life, and studying people much smarter than me, I’ve found 5 short cuts to being happy.
One is Gratitude. Be grateful for all you have from the moment you get up in the morning. It’s important to be grateful for all you have been given and built in your life. When you’re grateful and have peace of mind and contentment, you become open to receive much more in life.
Two is Choice. Like Abe said above, choose to be happy, it’s your choice how you think about your life and circumstances. When it comes right down to it, WE have control of our brain, which creates our thoughts, which create our words, which create our daily reality. We have a choice, every day and every moment, to be happy and see the best in people and circumstances in our world, or to let negative people and events take us down and hold us back from being our best.
Three is Moment, be in the moment, in the NOW. When you’re depressed you’re thinking of the past, when you’re worried or fearful you’re thinking of the future. When you’re happy you’re thinking about what you’re doing right NOW. Explore the world, notice little things around you that make you feel good, play, be child like again. Mindful breathing can bring you back from all the “monkey thoughts” (see more under Control, below) and focus you in the moment. This will help you appreciate and enjoy life more.
Four is for Love, yourself that is. I find that “I am…” statements help you focus and create higher self-esteem and self-love. Instead of beating yourself up and being negative about yourself, try thinking and saying positive things in the present tense. Things like, I am Happy; I am strong; I am talented; I am healthy; I am liked; I am expressing my true self; I am helping others; I am loving and I am loving. Say those words to yourself throughout the day and you’ll be amazed at how much better you feel and how you great things begin happening. Before you can receive love, you must love yourself. Life is much easier when you do.
Five is Control, the thousands of thoughts you have every day. You are the owner of the world’s most powerful computer. Learn to make it work for you rather than against you. Every second of our lives we have the ability to choose our thoughts. They seem to come and go randomly. When I have to many, coming too fast, and they’re scattered all over different subjects, I call them “monkey thoughts”. They’re like little monkeys jumping from tree to tree, branch to branch, never settling very long. They drive me nuts, and make me confused. It’s hard to focus and be happy when this happens. So, take control of your thoughts and learn to drive your brain, program it to use positive, empowering thoughts.
Being happy and controlling your thoughts are the most import lessons you need to learn for a great life. I leave you with Gandhi’s words. Thanks for stopping by today. Be Happy!
As a last note, the people in Cannes, France have a Happy Song. When you’re having a tough day, sing and dance along with them.
Holiday Spending
This is a great post from my friend Doug Nelson at Catch Fire University.
(If you ever get a chance to attend a Millionaire Minds event that Doug presents it’s a must see. It will change your life)
HOLIDAY SPENDING is JANUARY’s CREDIT CARD BILL; THREE TIPS to getting the BIGGEST Bang for your Buck every year.
Posted by Doug Nelson on December 10, 2013 in Financial Freedom
It is SOOOO easy to get caught up in the Holiday Spending. From the hot deals and bargains that entice, to the food, decorations and of course the presents. January is a painful month for most people; the dreaded Credit Card statement shows up and it is at least a month or two of paying interest fees to get that sucker paid off. Sound Familiar?
The thing is the holidays come around EVERY YEAR and even at the exact same time!!! So if it is PREDICTABLE it is PREVENTABLE!!
Here are 3 fool proof tips that will get you through each year without cursing the holiday season in January; ‘cause let’s face it, GIVING isn’isn’t GIVING if it hurts you or if it is just to maintain an image.
1. ACTUALLY PLAN FOR IT EACH YEAR: Start a SAVINGS Account TODAY! It is simple and easy. Go to your Bank, set up an additional Savings account and then set up an automated monthly deposit from your checking account. Make it $25, $50 or $500…depends on you and your Budget.
Just $50 a month automatically into that savings account gives you $600 at Christmas time!
2. ADJUST YOUR MINDSET: It is NOT A COMPETITION! Who gives the most presents, who spends the most… and giving out of obligation is not giving at all.
The holiday season is about Gratitude, Giving and Forgiving. So make it count! Thoughtfulness is far more powerful than a new sweater, coffee machine, tool set etc…
A Secret Santa or Gift Exchange is a great way for each person to be extra thoughtful with ONE person.
3. ONLINE SHOPPING is where it is at!
It saves you TIME, GAS MONEY and you get GREAT DEALS delivered to your door!
How awesome is that!?
So with the $600 you SAVED, use the Credit Card anyway so you get POINTS or rewards, PAY it off right away and get the MOST Bang for your BUCK!
THIS SITE Auto-fills ALL the great ONLINE deals and Coupons at your favorite Stores.
It is connected to over 4,000 retailers online
It has the best comparison, search and cash back rewards system of any online retailer!
No goofy membership or fees!
If your gonna SPEND, SPEND SMART!!
Thanks for your great advice from Doug.
To save money online go to www.shop.com/johnmcfadden
Be Yourself
Is it best to Be Yourself or Go With The Flow like everyone else and don’t make waves?
Most people, your parents, teachers and maybe our friends will tell you to go with the flow and don’t make waves, and you’ll get along fine and be happy.
But, is that really true? Is it working for you? Do you have lots of friends, a nice average job, and a comfortable life? Sounds great.
But, again, ARE YOU HAPPY? Are you being true to your inner self? Are you using your God given talents to make the world a better place? Is your life exciting and fun? Are you testing your limits and being unique and taking action to have your Dream Life?
Just think, you could be living the real life you want, using your talents and skills and ambition? Have you written the script of your own life movie and made a plan and set goals to achieve along the way to your dreams?
Or, are you sitting back, wishing, and wondering why your life isn’t what you dreamed it would be?
This is a great article from DaniJohnson.com. After you read her advice below go to her web site and read her life story. Our dream life doesn’t just happen, it takes planning, goals and hard work. So what are you waiting for, go get the perfect life for you!
From Dani Johnson.com,
How Daring To Be Different Can Pay Off.
“Have you ever heard the statement, “Go with the flow”? I was in Germany recently and had the opportunity to spend some time with Mariana Hilker, one of our precious clients. She is a college student from Finland, and she has been faithfully attending First Steps To Success and Creating A Dynasty for about 3 years.
One thing I love about Europeans is that they travel a lot. They see the world as their playground, and they want to explore and uncover as much as they possibly can. I’ve learned a lot from their example. So often, Americans never even leave their city or state, much less their country. They never go out and experience other cultures, other foods, other languages, other ways of life. And when they do travel, they typically don’t venture outside of the resort where they’re staying, so they don’t get to experience everything other parts of the world have to offer.
Mariana was telling me about a trip she took to Thailand and Indonesia, and she said something really profound. She told me some of her college friends say, “I don’t really have any plans for the future. I just want to go with the flow and see how things unfold.” Mariana just says, “Really?!? Seriously? That’s the dumbest thing you could ever do!“
When Mariana was in Indonesia, she was sitting there watching the flow of the trash in the ocean. As she watched the flow, she noticed the trash always ends up in trashier places. Isn’t that so true about life?
People who just go with the flow often end up in trashy situations. And that’s what most people are doing in life. A couple decides to get married and have kids, and they just hope for the best. But the best doesn’t always happen for their children. An employee just hopes to get promoted in his or her job. A business owner hopes to become a millionaire someday. But those things don’t just happen.
If you want success, you have to plan for it. You must learn new skills and make it happen. You can’t just go with the flow and say, “Whatever happens, happens.”
What is “the flow”? Look at what everyone else is doing. The truth is, 98% of the population ends up dead or dead broke by the age of 65, dependent on their family, friends or the federal government as their main source of income. They are going with the flow.
We were all told the same thing — go to school, get good grades, go to college and get a good job. That’s going with the flow, but that’s not how the successful people in the world do it. In fact, they go against the flow. I’m not saying they don’t go to school and get good grades. But they get specialized knowledge in a very different way.
Hans and I just came out of a conference with some extremely successful families. (I mean extremely successful — hundreds of millions of dollars in generational wealth.) Each of these highly successful people we met said the same thing about college: It’s not a good investment right now.
You would never hear that from the “wanna-be” successful people — the ones who make 6 figures and have a big house, a couple of leased cars and lots of credit cards. They would tell you something totally different about what it takes to succeed. They are the ones saying, “Go to college, get a good job and you will be successful.” But many of them have racked up tons of debt because they have gone with the flow.
Don’t get me wrong… Not all millionaires are truly successful. Just because you make a million doesn’t mean you’re successful. Most people who make a million dollars actually lose it or spend it.
I’m talking about people who have a long-standing track record of success — people with generational wealth and good families who work through their problems in their finances, businesses and relationships. People who know how to make money, keep money, and turn money into their slave. They have a completely different way of living and thinking about money.
In fact, you’ll never guess what these people said: The exact same thing I talk about in Grooming the Next Generation for Success. They had no TV when they were growing up. One of them had no air conditioning or heating in the house. If they were cold, they built a fire. They were frugal, they worked hard, they did things together as a family. They did not go with the flow. In fact, it was the opposite — they were trained up to be successful in every area of their lives.
Going with the flow is the worst thing you can do. When you listen to the people around you whose plan is to just go with the flow, you will end up where they end up, and that’s not a pretty place.
They say, “Oh, it’ll work itself out.” Instead of making plans, they wait to be led down one path or another. But you have to understand that is not going to give you the life you desire.
If you want a great marriage, you must set some goals and learn the right skills to make it happen. If you want to have phenomenal children who are great leaders and who have great people skills, financial skills, and will truly succeed in life, that will not happen if you simply go with the flow. It’s the same with your finances, business and career.
If you go with the flow, it will not lead you where you want to go. Do not let that be you! Go against the flow.”
There you have it, pretty good advice if you ask me.
What are you going to do TODAY to Design Your Perfect Life?
Thanks for stopping by, John
Serving Equals Significance
Do you want to Be Someone special (you already are), do you want to be Special? Do you want to be Important, looked up to?
We all want to be special. The quickest, easiest and best way to be Special is:
1) Be yourself
2) Put love into your life and the world.
3) SERVE OTHERS.
From Pastor Rick Warren:
Significance in life doesn’t come from status, because you can always find somebody who’s got more than you. It doesn’t come from sex. It doesn’t come from salary. It comes from serving.” (Rick Warren)
So, share your talent, skills and love by Serving Others and live will be great.
Thanks for stopping by, John
Life Expectations
When life doesn’t match your expectations or wants, you will be unhappy, in pain, even depressed.
How do you overcome this problem?
The short answer is, write down you expectations, clearly leaving 3 lines between each one.
Under each expectation on the first line, write down your current status of achieving or living that expectation. Most importantly, did deep into your mind and past programing, and decide if each one is Still a Valid Expectation. Is it something you still want to have or achieve in life? Is it really? If not, get ride of it, get it out of your mind and praise yourself for making positive change!
On the next line, write down what you have to do to reach and live that expectation. Do you need to go to school for it, get a licensed, move to another city, take lessons, or network with people already doing it.
Finally, review your life and expectations as they are now and decide if you want to add new expectations or maybe revise the old ones.
This is all about you and what you want in life. You are writing the movie script of your life and the finished product will play on your Big Screen of You Mind. So make it exactly what YOU want. Dream big.
As I like to say,
Think Good Thoughts
Speak Good Words
Do Good Things
Start writing your life script NOW!
Thanks for stopping by, John
Depression Ruins Ambition
Whether we like it or not, we all get “down” a little. Others carry a dark cloud with them all the time. Sometimes it’s caused by family genes, sometime a chemical imbalance is your body, and other times by life’s circumstances.
Depression effects all parts of our lives. We go through life at a slower pace, we don’t want to do things we normally love. We withdraw from friends and family. The holidays often make the depression greater. It takes away all your ambition to do things you love.
When depression strikes, it’s time to review our lives and find the good things we have and focus on them. Exercise is another way to get the blood pumping, get the endorphins flowing, even though it’s the exact opposite of what you want to do.
There’s hope, lots of good ideas on the web that will help. Here’s a great article I found that might help you start living life again.
6 Steps Toward Freedom From Depression
6 Steps Toward Freedom From Depression
After trying 23 medication combinations, 7 psychiatrists, two hospitalization programs, and every form of alternative therapy available–from homeopathic remedies to yoga, I assumed I was one of those unfortunate statistics with treatment-resistant depression, a Humpty-Dumpty type that would never recover from the fall of a nervous breakdown.
There was no magic that happened between then and now, the month my book about my recovery hits the shelves. I just kept on getting out of bed. Even on the days where my thoughts were cemented in the black stuff, in negativity and toxic emotions, I tried to pick up one foot and place it in front on the next.
Here are the tools I picked up along the way, the basic lessons that help me in my mission to stay Beyond Blue, or at least out of black for as long as possible.
1. Laugh.
From my 12 years of therapy I have learned at least one thing: I use sarcasm as a defense mechanism. But I’m keeping the jokes and the acerbic tone because Abe Lincoln and Art Buchwald, two of my mental health heroes, said wit was essential to sanity, that comedy can keep a person out of the psych ward (not really). And if you’re laughing, you’re not crying … even though the two look similar from 10 feet away.
2. Sweat.
As a recovering addict, I love any buzz I can get. Working out–any exercise that gets my heart rate over 140 beats per minute (into the cardiovascular zone) does the job. And in a safe way, so I don’t have to cheat on my sobriety. I’m probably as addicted to exercise as I was to booze, but this is one mood-altering activity that doesn’t deteriorate my marriage and my other relationships.
The right kind of exercise actually acts like an antidepressant: increasing the activity of serotonin and/or norepinephrine in your brain and releasing those coveted endorphins and other hormones that reduce pain, induce euphoria, have a calming effect, and combat stress.
3. Eat the right stuff.
The more I investigate–both through research and nonscientific experiments with body–the more I realize how my diet affects my mood.
Here are the bad boys: nicotine, caffeine (it’s a drug, which is why I’m addicted to it), alcohol, white flour and processed food (what you live on when you have kids who won’t touch tofu and spinach); and sugar … that’s a whole other blog post.
Here are the good guys: protein (eggs, milk, cheese, yogurt, meat, fish, chicken, seeds, nuts); complex starches (whole grains, beans, potatoes); vegetables (broccoli, spinach, squash); vitamins (vitamin B-complex, vitamins E and C, and a multivitamin); minerals (magnesium, calcium, and zinc); and omega-3 fatty acids.
4. Sleep!
Sleep is crucial to sanity. Let me repeat: Sleep is crucial to sanity.
Because sleep disturbances can contribute to, aggravate, and even cause mood disorders and a host of other illnesses. You see, if you’re not sleeping, your brain doesn’t have an opportunity to do all the stuff it needs to do without the constant interruption of your thoughts. The brain works night shifts. And when it doesn’t get all the work it needs to do done … well, it gets a tad irritable, like you do when you can’t get your work done. And it takes it out on you.
According to one recent study, sleep deprivation can cause a decline in cognitive performance similar to the intoxicated brain. That’s right! Drunks can reason and judge better than you if you’ve gone too long without getting some zzzzs.
5. Light up.
Have you ever noticed all the crabby behavior in November and December?
Changes in the amounts of daylight a person gets alters circadian rhythms, the internal biological clock which governs fluctuation in body temperature and the secretion of several hormones, including the evil one, Cortisol. When a person gets less daylight than she needs, her circadian rhythm starts to act like a high-maintenance houseguest – getting all flustered over small stuff (i.e. the wrong kind of soap). That’s why light treatment is so effective for fragile human beings like me. If I can’t get outside for at least a half hour a day, I try to sit under my mammoth HappyLite, a lamp with 10,000 lux, and think happy thoughts.
6. Rely on friends.
I used to be a loyal support-group kind of girl. But since I’ve had kids, getting to meetings is much more difficult. So I’ve found my support in other ways–in phone calls and e-mails and visits to friends and relatives who also suffer from depression or bipolar disorder. That lifeline kept me alive during my suicidal days, and continues to empower me every single day.
During the darker days of my depression, I walked around with six phone numbers in my pocket. Because I didn’t want to wear out any one friend or relative, I’d call two people a day, and rotate the numbers. I spent hours on the phone and writing e-mails and visiting friends because I needed constant support.
Click here for six more steps…
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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 25 Jan 2010
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.
Boomers Get Ready for a Happy Retirement
As we get ready to retire, and spend for time with our kids and grands kids, and to travel, there are lots of factors to consider.
Allstate has a good blog to refer to from time to time. Here’s a post I find interesting. Hope you do to.
7 Things You Should Prepare for a Happy Retirement
Posted by moneyning on Oct 4, 2011 1:13:33 PM
If you thought that preparing for a happy retirement just consisted of making sure that you have a dependable retirement income, then you are mistaken. No matter what your age, money is important, but it’s not everything. Here are seven things you should prepare well before you call it quits to make sure that your retirement can be the best that it can be.
Make sure you are healthy
You can’t travel in your retirement if you don’t have the energy to sight see, and you won’t be able to enjoy the company of your family and friends if you are always sick. You need your health to enjoy anything, but most people don’t think about it until it’s too late. Maintain a good diet and exercise regularly starting… NOW!
Keep close ties with your whole family
Family seems to become more and more important to us as we age, but many often neglect the people closest to them in pursuit of wealth. Don’t make this mistake. Make an effort to call your siblings regularly to check in on them. Take care of your parents, and do your best to create a loving environment for your children so they can grow up to be the best that they can be so that when you are retired, your family will be there for you.
Make friends
Our social support system is a significant source of happiness, and it’s even more important in our golden years. Having a social circle to hang out or have lunch with is crucial to a happy retirement. If you do it right, your twilight years will be as happy as those carefree younger days!
Nurture a hobby
If there’s anything you have more of when you retire, it will be time. There aren’t many better ways to spend your time than doing what you love, so start learning something that you will enjoy for the rest of your life.
Develop a good attitude
When we are young, we tend to have more ambitions, expectations and try to force situations that end up stressing our life and those around us. Now that you are preparing yourself for retirement, practice patience, learn to see the good side of things and see your life magically become better because you and everyone else around you are less stressed.
Own your own house
You will find tremendous comfort in knowing that you own the place you call home. In your twilight years, having to pay a mortgage is just more stress than you need to deal with. While you are preparing your retirement, work hard to retire that mortgage when you retire!
Get your retirement income in order
No brainer there. Learn to save money every month by spending less, and make more money so you can put more towards your latter years. Given enough years, spending less than you earn is all you need to become financially free.
Do all the steps well, and you will be living a happy retirement!
David is a guest blogger from MoneyNing. In exchange for sharing this content, the Allstate Community has compensated him via cash payment.
New blog for Baby Boomer Grandpas and Grandmas
The other day I woke up and realized I currently have 7 grand kids! Wow, when did that happen? Was I too busy working to notice or what. The “what” is I am truly blessed to be a Boomer Grandpa.
Like it or not, the rebel, activist, forward thinking, “we can change the world” generation have had their kids and are now blessed with grand kids. They are the greatest. They are the future of our world and Universe. Besides that, they’re fun to play with.
This blog is about how life changes when you are a Baby Boomer and when you turn into a Boomer Grandpa (or Grandma). It’s about new, unwanted physical changes, about how to retire, how to travel, where to travel, new or improved products for us, how to have the most fun with your kids and grand kids.
I’ll review travel destinations, products, movies, arthritis medicine (ha) and anything else that comes into the Boomer Grandpa’s life.
Basically, as I live my new life as Grandpa, I’ll give you stories, ideas, tips, reviews about anything and everything that happens to me and my family. I figure my family is pretty typical so hopefully, you’ll learn with me how do be the best aging Boomer and Grandparent we can be.
So, as I start this daunting task, be patient with me, check back often, and if you have ideas for the blog send them my way.
Thanks, Boomer Grandpa John