1st Secret to be Happy
The degree of your happiness in life is up to you. It’s your choice. It’s what you choose to focus on.
How Happy Do You Want To Be?
It’s all up to YOU!
Thanks for stopping by, John
4 Ways To Improve Your Baby Boomer Life
With each new day I feel more and more lucky to be alive! I’m glad that I’m a Baby Boomer and still learning about life. Yes, there are a few clouds around but look how green life is. As I reduce my hours in Corporate America and have more time for myself, I’m learning to let go of and refocus some of my obsessions I’ve created while climbing the ladder.
Now it’s like opening a gate in my mind and throwing out the assumptions, bad habits, petty attitudes, judgements, goals that weren’t really mine, youthful obsessions and things that don’t mean as much to me anymore. I’ve outgrown some of the superficial things and I’m learning to spend my time on things that have more meaning to me. There’s less thinking about how much stuff I can accumulate. I’ve realized having the biggest house on the block doesn’t really matter to me. And, I’m remembering there are people in the world who are less fortunate than me and I might be able to make a positive impact on a few of them. A poster reminds me, “There are people in the world who are happy with less than you have.”
Our society tends to think aging is a bad thing, filled with physical and emotional pain and unhappiness. Is that the way you feel? You don’t have to. Helping yourself and others brings happiness to your heart and soul.
“It’s a very encouraging fact that we can expect to be happier in our early 80s than we were in our 20s,” Andrew J. Oswald, a professor of psychology at Warwick Business School, told the New York Times. “And it’s not being driven predominantly by things that happen in life. It’s something very deep and quite human that seems to be driving this.”
Throughout our mid life, the 30’s, 40’s and sometime into our 50’s we spend much of our daily lives doing tasks that we “have to do”. This can be exhausting. But, now it’s time for the real, authentic YOU to come out and show itself. What does that look like? Do you remember when you were the real you filled with excitement and be dreams. Now is the time to find your real soul and spirit. It may take time but it’s worth it, and now, you have more time for yourself.
One little trick to make sure you’re being you is, when you are doing something, working at a task, or doing anything, ask yourself:
1) Why am I doing this (task, project, whatever)?
2) Do I really want to do it? Does it benefit me?
3) Am I enjoying it, does it make me happy, do I feel good doing it, does it give me energy?
4) Or, does it sap all the life out of me. If this is your answer, it’s time to re-think how you’re spending your time. Do things that feel good and excite you and make you and the world better.
Thanks for stopping by. I hope you gained a little something while here.
Look forward to you sharing this, and coming back again.
Thanks, John
6 Rules to Live By
Live Your Life Well
I read today that the last of the Baby Boomers turn 50 this year. We’ve lived at least 50 years, half a century, can you believe it? It’s been great so far, lets re-evaluate our priorities and actions so the next 40-50 years can be just as great.
To Live Your Life Well, we need to have a plan, a personal guide, something to keep us on track. I found this uplifting speech by Arnold Schwarzenegger that make lots of sense. They’re very simple but motivating and a good place to start.
Arnold has overcome a lot to get from a little town in Austria to be a world champion and a governor of California. Granted, he’s made some very public mistakes a long the way but I believe he has good advice for us regarding accomplishment.
Who do you want to be? Not what, but WHO? So, listen to him here.
6 Rules to Live By
Quotes
“Stay hungry, stay healthy, be a gentleman, believe strongly in yourself and go beyond limitations.”
“The mind is the limit. As long as the mind can envision the fact that you can do something, you can do it-as long as you really believe 100 percent.”
“We all have great inner power. The power is self-faith. There’s really an attitude to winning. You have to see yourself winning before you win. And you have to be hungry. You have to want to conquer” (to win, to live your dreams)
Boomer Life Changes
Boomers, Generations, Family. These are what Life is made of! But, like it or not, Life Changes. Here we have 4 generations of a family, one of them is a Boomer. What a great time of life.
For us Boomers, life is Great, or at least it should be. Some of us are able to semi-retire or completely retire. Is there such a thing any more? Not in the traditional sense our parents think of. Maybe we’ve been laid off, maybe our health doesn’t allow us to work full time or at the job we have.
Life changes in many ways. One, aging, can upset our apple cart. When it does, we have to back up and re-evaluate where we fit into Life, work wise, socially, in our family and financially. This can create stress and throw us for a loop. Our self-esteem and self-confidence can take a big hit and create a big set back.
Here’s some great advice for getting back on track. I hope it helps some or all of you.
25 Killer Actions to Boost Your Self-Confidence
Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit. – E.E. Cummings
Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.
One of the things that held me back from pursuing my dreams for many years was fear of failure … and the lack of self-confidence that I needed to overcome that fear.
It’s something we all face, to some degree, I think. The key question: how do you overcome that fear?
By working on your self-confidence and self-esteem. Without really thinking of it in those terms, that’s what I’ve been doing over the years, and that’s what helped me finally overcome my fears, and finally pursue my dreams.
I still have those fears, undoubtedly. But now I know that I can beat them, that I can break through that wall of fear and come out on the other side. I’ve done it many times now, and that success will fuel further success.
This post was inspired by reader Nick from Finland, who asked for an article about self-worth and self-confidence:
Many of the things you propose make people feel better about themselves and actually help building self-confidence. However, I would be interested on reading your input in general on this topic. Taking time out for your own plans and dreams, doing things another way than most other people and generally not necessarily “fitting in” can be quite hard with a low self-confidence.
Truer words have never been spoken. It’s near impossible to make time for your dreams, to break free from the traditional mold, and to truly be yourself, if you have low self-esteem and self-confidence.
As an aside, I know that some people make a strong distinction between self-esteem and self-confidence. In this article, I use them interchangeably, even if there is a subtle but perhaps important difference … the difference being whether you believe you’re worthy of respect from others (self-esteem) and whether you believe in yourself (self-confidence). In the end, both amount to the same thing, and in the end, the actions I mention below give a boost to both self-esteem and self-confidence.
Taking control of your self-confidence
If you are low in self-confidence, is it possible to do things that will change that? Is your self-confidence in your control?
While it may not seem so, if you are low in self-confidence, I strongly believe that you can do things to increase your self-confidence. It is not genetic, and you do not have to be reliant on others to increase your self-confidence. And if you believe that you are not very competent, not very smart, not very attractive, etc. … that can be changed.
You can become someone worthy of respect, and someone who can pursue what he wants despite the naysaying of others.
You can do this by taking control of your life, and taking control of your self-confidence. By taking concrete actions that improve your competence, your self-image, you can increase that self-confidence, without the help of anyone else.
Below, I outline 25 things that will help you do that. None of them is revolutionary, none of them will do it all by themselves. The list certainly isn’t comprehensive. These are just some of my favorite things, stuff that’s worked for me.
And you don’t need to do all of them, as if this were a recipe … pick and choose those that appeal to you, maybe just a couple at first, and give them a try. If they work, try others. If they don’t, try others.
Here they are, in no particular order:
1. Groom yourself. This seems like such an obvious one, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and a shave can make in your feelings of self-confidence and for your self-image. There have been days when I turned my mood around completely with this one little thing.
2. Dress nicely. A corollary of the first item above … if you dress nicely, you’ll feel good about yourself. You’ll feel successful and presentable and ready to tackle the world. Now, dressing nicely means something different for everyone … it doesn’t necessarily mean wearing a $500 outfit, but could mean casual clothes that are nice looking and presentable.
3. Photoshop your self-image. Our self-image means so much to us, more than we often realize. We have a mental picture of ourselves, and it determines how confident we are in ourselves. But this picture isn’t fixed and immutable. You can change it. Use your mental Photoshopping skills, and work on your self-image. If it’s not a very good one, change it. Figure out why you see yourself that way, and find a way to fix it.
4. Think positive. One of the things I learned when I started running, about two years ago, what how to replace negative thoughts (see next item) with positive ones. How I can actually change my thoughts, and by doing so make great things happened. With this tiny little skill, I was able to train for and run a marathon within a year. It sounds so trite, so Norman Vincent Peale, but my goodness this works. Seriously. Try it if you haven’t.
5. Kill negative thoughts. Goes hand-in-hand with the above item, but it’s so important that I made it a separate item. You have to learn to be aware of your self-talk, the thoughts you have about yourself and what you’re doing. When I was running, sometimes my mind would start to say, “This is too hard. I want to stop and go watch TV.” Well, I soon learned to recognize this negative self-talk, and soon I learned a trick that changed everything in my life: I would imagine that a negative thought was a bug, and I would vigilantly be on the lookout for these bugs. When I caught one, I would stomp on it (mentally of course) and squash it. Kill it dead. Then replace it with a positive one. (“C’mon, I can do this! Only one mile left!”)
Know yourself and you will win all battles. – Sun Tzu
6. Get to know yourself. When going into battle, the wisest general learns to know his enemy very, very well. You can’t defeat the enemy without knowing him. And when you’re trying to overcome a negative self-image and replace it with self-confidence, your enemy is yourself. Get to know yourself well. Start listening to your thoughts. Start writing a journal about yourself, and about the thoughts you have about yourself, and analyzing why you have such negative thoughts. And then think about the good things about yourself, the things you can do well, the things you like. Start thinking about your limitations, and whether they’re real limitations or just ones you’ve allowed to be placed there, artificially. Dig deep within yourself, and you’ll come out (eventually) with even greater self-confidence.
7. Act positive. More than just thinking positive, you have to put it into action. Action, actually, is the key to developing self-confidence. It’s one thing to learn to think positive, but when you start acting on it, you change yourself, one action at a time. You are what you do, and so if you change what you do, you change what you are. Act in a positive way, take action instead of telling yourself you can’t, be positive. Talk to people in a positive way, put energy into your actions. You’ll soon start to notice a difference.
8. Be kind and generous. Oh, so corny. If this is too corny for you, move on. But for the rest of you, know that being kind to others, and generous with yourself and your time and what you have, is a tremendous way to improve your self-image. You act in accordance with the Golden Rule, and you start to feel good about yourself, and to think that you are a good person. It does wonders for your self-confidence, believe me.
One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation. – Arthur Ashe
9. Get prepared. It’s hard to be confident in yourself if you don’t think you’ll do well at something. Beat that feeling by preparing yourself as much as possible. Think about taking an exam: if you haven’t studied, you won’t have much confidence in your abilities to do well on the exam. But if you studied your butt off, you’re prepared, and you’ll be much more confident. Now think of life as your exam, and prepare yourself.
10. Know your principles and live them. What are the principles upon which your life is built? If you don’t know, you will have trouble, because your life will feel directionless. For myself, I try to live the Golden Rule (and fail often). This is my key principle, and I try to live my life in accordance with it. I have others, but they are mostly in some way related to this rule (the major exception being to “Live my Passion”). Think about your principles … you might have them but perhaps you haven’t given them much thought. Now think about whether you actually live these principles, or if you just believe in them but don’t act on them.
11. Speak slowly. Such a simple thing, but it can have a big difference in how others perceive you. A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence. A person who feels that he isn’t worth listening to will speak quickly, because he doesn’t want to keep others waiting on something not worthy of listening to. Even if you don’t feel the confidence of someone who speaks slowly, try doing it a few times. It will make you feel more confident. Of course, don’t take it to an extreme, but just don’t sound rushed either.
12. Stand tall. I have horrible posture, so it will sound hypocritical for me to give this advice, but I know it works because I try it often. When I remind myself to stand tall and straight, I feel better about myself. I imagine that a rope is pulling the top of my head toward the sky, and the rest of my body straightens accordingly. As an aside, people who stand tall and confident are more attractive. That’s a good thing any day, in my book.
13. Increase competence. How do you feel more competent? By becoming more competent. And how do you do that? By studying and practicing. Just do small bits at a time. If you want to be a more competent writer, for example, don’t try to tackle the entire profession of writing all at once. Just begin to write more. Journal, blog, write short stories, do some freelance writing. The more you write, the better you’ll be. Set aside 30 minutes a day to write (for example), and the practice will increase your competence.
14. Set a small goal and achieve it. People often make the mistake of shooting for the moon, and then when they fail, they get discouraged. Instead, shoot for something much more achievable. Set a goal you know you can achieve, and then achieve it. You’ll feel good about that. Now set another small goal and achieve that. The more you achieve small goals, the better you’ll be at it, and the better you’ll feel. Soon you’ll be setting bigger (but still achievable) goals and achieving those too.
15. Change a small habit. Not a big one, like quitting smoking. Just a small one, like writing things down. Or waking up 10 minutes earlier. Or drinking a glass of water when you wake up. Something small that you know you can do. Do it for a month. When you’ve accomplished it, you’ll feel like a million bucks.
16. Focus on solutions. If you are a complainer, or focus on problems, change your focus now. Focusing on solutions instead of problems is one of the best things you can do for your confidence and your career. “I’m fat and lazy!” So how can you solve that? “But I can’t motivate myself!” So how can you solve that? “But I have no energy!” So what’s the solution?
17. Smile. Another trite one. But it works. I feel instantly better when I smile, and it helps me to be kinder to others as well. A little tiny thing that can have a chain reaction. Not a bad investment of your time and energy.
18. Volunteer. Related to the “be kind and generous” item above, but more specific. It’s the holiday season right now … can you find the time to volunteer for a good cause, to spread some holiday cheer, to make the lives of others better? It’ll be some of the best time you’ve ever spent, and an amazing side benefit is that you’ll feel better about yourself, instantly.
19. Be grateful. I’m a firm believer in gratitude, as anyone who’s been reading this blog for very long knows well. But I put it here because while being grateful for what you have in life, for what others have given you, is a very humbling activity … it can also be a very positive and rewarding activity that will improve your self-image. Read more.
20. Exercise. Gosh, I seem to put this one on almost every list. But if I left it off this list I would be doing you a disservice. Exercise has been one of my most empowering activities in the last couple years, and it has made me feel so much better about myself.
All you have to do is take a walk a few times a week, and you’ll see benefits. Start the habit.
21. Empower yourself with knowledge. Empowering yourself, in general, is one of the best strategies for building self-confidence. You can do that in many ways, but one of the surest ways to empower yourself is through knowledge. This is along the same vein as building competence and getting prepared … by becoming more knowledgeable, you’ll be more confident … and you become more knowledgeable by doing research and studying. The Internet is a great tool, of course, but so are the people around you, people who have done what you want, books, magazines, and educational institutions.
22. Do something you’ve been procrastinating on. What’s on your to-do list that’s been sitting there? Do it first thing in the morning, and get it out of the way. You’ll feel great about yourself.
23. Get active. Doing something is almost always better than not doing anything. Of course, doing something could lead to mistakes … but mistakes are a part of life. It’s how we learn. Without mistakes, we’d never get better. So don’t worry about those. Just do something. Get off your butt and get active — physically, or active by taking steps to accomplish something.
24. Work on small things. Trying to take on a huge project or task can be overwhelming and daunting and intimidating for anyone, even the best of us. Instead, learn to break off small chunks and work in bursts. Small little achievements make you feel good, and they add up to big achievements. Learn to work like this all the time, and soon you’ll be a self-confident maniac.
25. Clear your desk. This might seem like a small, simple thing (then again, for some of you it might not be so small). But it has always worked wonders for me. If my desk starts to get messy, and the world around me is in chaos, clearing off my desk is my way of getting a little piece of my life under control. It is the calm in the center of the storm around me. Here’s how.
Somehow I can’t believe that there are any heights that can’t be scaled by a man who knows the secrets of making dreams come true. This special secret, it seems to me, can be summarized in four C s. They are curiosity, confidence, courage, and constancy, and the greatest of all is confidence. When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionable. – Walt Disney
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(from: http://zenhabits.net/25-killer-actions-to-boost-your-self-confidence/)
Thanks for reading my Blog. Come back again. John
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Boomers Being Left Behind!
(Anne Frank Huis, Amsterdam)
We are older now, like it or not. Maybe a little more tired, maybe being forced out of the workforce, feeling like we can’t keep up in today’s “new normal”. Basically, we feel out of sync with what’s going on around us. As boomers we feel like we are Being Left Behind. Face it, the world is changing EVERYDAY.
But, there is hope. There is something we should do it everyday! If you do it, you’ll feel more connected and more alive, and be able to have more of what you want and look forward to.
Do what? LEARN SOMETHING NEW. Learn about all the great new things happening in your world. Don’t be overwhelmed, learn about it, be part of it!
Here’s what one of TV’s Secret Millionaires has to say about learning:
Jeff Usner Shares: A Success Strategy that Never goes Out of Style
“Do you want to have something that you don’t have right now? Here’s a strategy to get exactly what you want!
Can I ask you something? What was the last thing that you have learned and when did it occur? Your answer to this question will greatly impact how little or how much you can accomplish in life.
Let me tell you, one of the most important concepts that I value, not just in business but also in life, is to always be a student. You know, for a long time, all of us are students; in fact we begin our lives as students. We go to kindergarten, enroll in primary school, go all the way to high school then college; some of us even attain further education that. But what most people do, after all the formal schooling is done and they just stop learning and acquiring new skills. This is really a sad thing because it stops you from growing and investing in yourself.
This is very important. You always have to be a student. You have to learn and acquire new skills. Invest in yourself because at the end of the day no one will be able to take this from you. To me, personally, now I am trying to learn Karate. My kids started going to Karate twice or three times a week and I’d take them, then one day it hits me, I’m already there and investing my time but instead of just waiting for my kids to finish, why not take Karate lessons too? It’s a new skill that I can add to myself plus I get to spend time and have fun with my kids.
Are you putting a lid on your abilities by not learning and getting new skills? Don’t! Always be a student and keep learning. Never stop growing and investing in who you are. What new skills do you want to learn today?”
Don’t be overwhelmed, dig in there and keep learning everyday.
Thanks for stopping by today. Make it a great one!
John
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Elders, Wisedom of The Ages
We, the Boomers, have lived full lives. We’ve “seen it all”. It’s been a great ride. But, be assured, it’s not over yet. We are now continuing our life’s journey and learning every more everyday, and enjoying it.
Being the “Elders” and blessed with this vast knowledge, we have a responsibility to share it with our children and grandchildren.
Author Jack Canfield has helped a lot of people, I enjoy reading his encouraging words. You might know him from Chicken Soup for the Soul.
Let’s share our wealth of wisdom with others. This article is a great start. Share Your Wisdom With Others!
Enjoy, John
7 Steps for Creating the Life YOU Want
January 16, 2013 by Jack Canfield 28 Comments
We all aspire to do, be and have great things. Yet most of us simply aren’t creating the results we want. We complain that we don’t have enough money, romance, success or joy in our lives.
We point fingers and blame outside problems that “happen” to us and make life more difficult. But what we need to understand and keep at the forefront of our minds is that greatness exists in all of us. It is simply up to us to pull it out of ourselves. Regardless of personal circumstances, economic climates, and access to resources, it helps to maintain faith in the fact we each are more powerful than we think.
We all have the ability to create the life we want. We just need to learn how to do it. Is there an exact “formula”? No, but there are certain common features that successful people exhibit and that anyone can practice. They are what can jumpstart your success and attract what you want in life. You’d be hard pressed to find any high achiever who doesn’t live by the following 7 tips:
1. Take No Less than 100% Responsibility for Your Life
One of the greatest myths that is pervasive in our culture today is that you are entitled to a great life and that somehow, somewhere, someone is responsible for filling our lives with continual happiness, exciting career options, nurturing family time and blissful personal relationships simply because we exist. But the real truth is that there is only one person responsible for the quality of the life you live. That person is you.
Everything about you is a result of your doing or not doing. Income. Debt. Relationships. Health. Fitness level. Attitudes and behaviors. That person who reflects back at you in the mirror is the chief conductor in your life. Say hello!
I think everyone knows this in their hearts, but the mind can play games, tricking plenty of people into thinking external factors are the source of failure, disappointment, and unhappiness. But the truth of the matter is that external factors don’t determine how you live. You are in complete control of the quality of your life.
Successful people take full responsibility for the thoughts they think, the images they visualize, and the actions they take. They don’t waste their time and energy blaming and complaining. They evaluate their experiences and decide if they need to change them or not. They face the uncomfortable and take risks in order to create the life they want to live.
2. Be Clear Why You’re Here
I believe each of us is born with a life purpose. Identifying, acknowledging and honoring this purpose is perhaps the most important action successful people take. They take the time to understand what they’re here to do, and then they pursue that with passion and enthusiasm.
If you don’t know what you’re supposed to be doing, then just tune in to the signals around you. Looking toward others for help and guidance is helpful, but don’t forget to stay tuned in to yourself—your behavior, attitude, likes and dislikes, and life experiences. Identify what’s working and what isn’t. If you need to, write it all down. You might be surprised by what you discover.
3. Decide What You Want
It sounds so simple, but here’s the problem: I see plenty of people who are overly-busy yet who feel unsatisfied and unfulfilled. They are physically tired, spiritually drained, and far from where they’d like to be—as if they’ve been running on a treadmill going nowhere fast. Why? Because they haven’t clearly mapped out what they want and then taken the steps to get there. Rather than identifying specific goals, milestones, and dreams (and I’m talking BIG dreams and goals here), they go through the motions day in and day out tackling unimportant tasks. They end up…you guessed it…going in circles and wasting lots of energy. In the meanwhile, they grow increasingly uninspired and out of touch with their authentic selves. This, of course, sets anyone up to living a life out of balance.
One of the main reasons why most people don’t get what they want is they haven’t decided what they want. They haven’t defined their desires in clear and compelling detail. What does success look like to you? Not everybody’s definition of success is the same, nor should it be.
Don’t let your inner devil’s advocate (or that incessant but unimportant To Do list) inhibit you from dreaming big. As soon as you commit to a big dream and really go after it, your subconscious creative mind will come up with big ideas to make it happen. You’ll start attracting the people, resources, and opportunities you need into your life to make your dream come true. Big dreams not only inspire you, but they also compel others to want to play big, too.
4. Believe It Is Possible
Scientists used to believe that humans responded to information flowing into the brain from the outside world. But today, they’re learning that instead we respond to what the brain, based on previous experience, expects to happen next. In fact, the mind is such a powerful instrument; it can deliver literally everything you want. But you have to believe that what you want is possible.
As you commit to believing in yourself, also make a commitment to toning down the complaint department. Look at what you are complaining about. I’m fat. I’m tired. I can’t get out of debt. I won’t ever get a better job. I can’t stand the relationship I have with my father. I’ll never find a soulmate in life. Really examine your complaints. More than likely you can do something about them. They are not about other people, other things, or other events. They are about YOU.
5. Believe in Yourself
If you are going to be successful in creating the life of your dreams, you have to believe that you are capable of making it happen. Whether you call it self-esteem, self-confidence or self-assurance, it is a deep-seated belief that you have what it takes; the abilities, inner resources, talents and skills to create your desired results.
Have unwavering faith in yourself, for good and bad. Make the decision to believe that you create all your experiences. You will experience successes thanks to you, and you will experience pain, struggle, and strife thanks to you. Sounds a little strange, but accepting this level of responsibility is uniquely empowering. It means you can do, change, and be anything. Stumbling blocks become just that—little hills to hop over.
6. Become an Inverse Paranoid
This one is straightforward: Imagine how much easier it would be to succeed in life if you were constantly expecting the world to support you and bring you opportunity. Successful people do just that.
7. Unleash the Power of Goal Setting
Experts on the science of success know the brain is a goal-seeking organism. Whatever goal you give to your subconscious mind, it will work day and night to achieve. To engage you subconscious mind, a goal has to be measurable. When there aren’t any criteria for measurement, it is simply something you want, a wish, a preference, or a good idea.
Sometimes we need to make just one initial goal to get started, and that’s okay. At least it comes with a few actions to achieve. A first step simply can be making an immediate change in a single area in your life. Are you unhappy about something that is happening right now? Make requests that will make it more desirable to you, or take the steps to change it yourself. Making a change might be uncomfortable and overwhelming for you. It might mean you have to put in more time, money, and effort. It might mean that someone gets upset about it, or makes you feel bad about your decision. It might be difficult to change or leave a situation, but staying put is your choice so why continue to complain? You can either do something about it or not. It is your choice and you have responsibility for your choices.
Bear in mind that you have to be willing to change your behavior if you want a different outcome. You have to be willing to take the risks necessary to get what you want. If you’ve already taken an initial step in the right direction, now’s the time to plan more steps to keep moving you forward faster.
Isn’t it a great relief to know that you can make your life what you want it to be? Isn’t it wonderful that your successes do not depend on someone else?
So if you need just one thing to do different today than you did yesterday, make it this: Commit to taking 100% responsibility for every aspect of your life. Decide to make changes, one step at a time. Once you start the process you’ll discover it is much easier to get what you want by taking control of your thoughts, your visualizations, and your actions!
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You can, as long as you include this complete statement with it: Jack Canfield, America’s #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you’re ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
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Dreams and Greatness
Sweet Dreams
Your Are Great!
Every one of us has dreams for our lives. Some only dream and some take action, some give up and some keep going until our dream becomes our reality.
I found this quote, don’t know who wrote it, but I think it gives us hope.
“Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and the thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself”.
Pretty good advice if you ask me. Add this to your Vision Board and read it everyday. You’ll be surprised at what happens.
“A dream not written down is merely a wish”. Make your Dream a Goal!
Have a great day, John
Depression, Even Boomers Suffer From It
As we goes through life our circumstances such as job, friends, death of someone close, family and relationships gradually change. All these can cause Depression. Most often depression effects us physically and well as emotionally. Usually, it’s so subtle we don’t even notice it. Then one day we find it getting harder and harder to even get out of bed. Some Boomers feel like they don’t know where they fit into the working world, their role in their family and society, and they worry about the future, retirement, and health. They are entering into a time of life very different that anything they’ve ever experienced. It’s difficult to have your body age and not being able to do things that used to be so easy. If you think about it, your 50th birthday is truly the mark of middle age. You have your life or less to live.
When it gets to that level, it’s time to do some soul searching and re-evaluating of your life. Make sure you’re living life by your standards and expectations not someone else’s. Ask yourself are you investing time in your relationships, and things that you enjoy, such as photography, music, hiking, running or exploring the world.
Depression, according to Merriam-Webster is, “a state of feeling sad : dejection (2) : a psychoneurotic or psychotic disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal tendencies.”
So, what causes us to feel this way? Webmd.com says, “Depression is an extremely complex disease. It occurs for a variety of reasons. Some people experience depression during a serious medical illness. Others may have depression with life changes such as a move or the death of a loved one. Still others have a family history of depression. Those who do may experience depression and feel overwhelmed with sadness and loneliness for no known reason.”
So, what do we do about these feelings? Depending how severe it is, definitely see your doctor. There are a wide variety of medications that can you you feel yourself again. In addition, there are simple steps to help you start feeling better.
One of the most important things you can do, and it can be hard but well worth it, is to pull the Positive Thinking and Talking to Yourself card. I can’t stress enough how important this is. It’s up to you how you react to situations, what you believe in, what you believe you are and what you say to yourself and to others. One of the most powerful quotes I’ve heard, and I use everyday is that “Thoughts Become Things”. Our brains are Creating Machines, and WE decide what we Create with our Thoughts and Words. Admittedly, this can be hard, especially if your depression is in your family genetics or a chemical imbalance. That’s no reason to give up and not try to help yourself feel better!
Your quality of life is in your “hands” (brain, thoughts, words). You are creating your Tomorrow with the thoughts and words you have Today! Make your thoughts work For you rather than Against you.
Here is a great article from psychcentral.com to help you get started. A better life awaits you! Thanks for reading, John
6 Steps Toward Freedom From Depression
By Therese J. Borchard
Associate Editor
After trying 23 medication combinations, 7 psychiatrists, two hospitalization programs, and every form of alternative therapy available–from homeopathic remedies to yoga, I assumed I was one of those unfortunate statistics with treatment-resistant depression, a Humpty-Dumpty type that would never recover from the fall of a nervous breakdown.
There was no magic that happened between then and now, the month my book about my recovery hits the shelves. I just kept on getting out of bed. Even on the days where my thoughts were cemented in the black stuff, in negativity and toxic emotions, I tried to pick up one foot and place it in front on the next.
Here are the tools I picked up along the way, the basic lessons that help me in my mission to stay Beyond Blue, or at least out of black for as long as possible.
1. Laugh.
From my 12 years of therapy I have learned at least one thing: I use sarcasm as a defense mechanism. But I’m keeping the jokes and the acerbic tone because Abe Lincoln and Art Buchwald, two of my mental health heroes, said wit was essential to sanity, that comedy can keep a person out of the psych ward (not really). And if you’re laughing, you’re not crying … even though the two look similar from 10 feet away.
2. Sweat.
As a recovering addict, I love any buzz I can get. Working out–any exercise that gets my heart rate over 140 beats per minute (into the cardiovascular zone) does the job. And in a safe way, so I don’t have to cheat on my sobriety. I’m probably as addicted to exercise as I was to booze, but this is one mood-altering activity that doesn’t deteriorate my marriage and my other relationships.
The right kind of exercise actually acts like an antidepressant: increasing the activity of serotonin and/or norepinephrine in your brain and releasing those coveted endorphins and other hormones that reduce pain, induce euphoria, have a calming effect, and combat stress.
3. Eat the right stuff.
The more I investigate–both through research and nonscientific experiments with body–the more I realize how my diet affects my mood.
Here are the bad boys: nicotine, caffeine (it’s a drug, which is why I’m addicted to it), alcohol, white flour and processed food (what you live on when you have kids who won’t touch tofu and spinach); and sugar … that’s a whole other blog post.
Here are the good guys: protein (eggs, milk, cheese, yogurt, meat, fish, chicken, seeds, nuts); complex starches (whole grains, beans, potatoes); vegetables (broccoli, spinach, squash); vitamins (vitamin B-complex, vitamins E and C, and a multivitamin); minerals (magnesium, calcium, and zinc); and omega-3 fatty acids.
4. Sleep!
Sleep is crucial to sanity. Let me repeat: Sleep is crucial to sanity.
Because sleep disturbances can contribute to, aggravate, and even cause mood disorders and a host of other illnesses. You see, if you’re not sleeping, your brain doesn’t have an opportunity to do all the stuff it needs to do without the constant interruption of your thoughts. The brain works night shifts. And when it doesn’t get all the work it needs to do done … well, it gets a tad irritable, like you do when you can’t get your work done. And it takes it out on you.
According to one recent study, sleep deprivation can cause a decline in cognitive performance similar to the intoxicated brain. That’s right! Drunks can reason and judge better than you if you’ve gone too long without getting some zzzzs.
5. Light up.
Have you ever noticed all the crabby behavior in November and December?
Changes in the amounts of daylight a person gets alters circadian rhythms, the internal biological clock which governs fluctuation in body temperature and the secretion of several hormones, including the evil one, Cortisol. When a person gets less daylight than she needs, her circadian rhythm starts to act like a high-maintenance houseguest – getting all flustered over small stuff (i.e. the wrong kind of soap). That’s why light treatment is so effective for fragile human beings like me. If I can’t get outside for at least a half hour a day, I try to sit under my mammoth HappyLite, a lamp with 10,000 lux, and think happy thoughts.
6. Rely on friends.
I used to be a loyal support-group kind of girl. But since I’ve had kids, getting to meetings is much more difficult. So I’ve found my support in other ways–in phone calls and e-mails and visits to friends and relatives who also suffer from depression or bipolar disorder. That lifeline kept me alive during my suicidal days, and continues to empower me every single day.
During the darker days of my depression, I walked around with six phone numbers in my pocket. Because I didn’t want to wear out any one friend or relative, I’d call two people a day, and rotate the numbers. I spent hours on the phone and writing e-mails and visiting friends because I needed constant support.
(from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/01/25/6-steps-toward-freedom-from-depression/)
Mom and Dad
One thing you and I, as aging Boomers, are starting to face is the death of our parents. I’ve been lucky as Dad is 96 and Mom lived to be 93.
But now, she is gone………..
“Memories of our lives, or our works and deeds will continue in others.” Rosa Parks
On July 7th, 2012, as I was waiting for a fallen state troopers funeral procession to pass, my Mom passed away. For some reason I was meant to solemnly experience the grief of the Troopers mourners rather than to be at Mom’s side during her passing. I’ve heard it said, “Even death has a heart.”. I guess it’s true.
“Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.” Isaac Asimov
And so it was with Mom. She enjoyed life, getting the most out of each moment and sharing it with her sons and others. You could tell when something touched her, she would use phrases like, “It’s just wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.”. “Look how RED the earth is here.”. She would say to my wife, “when we’re together every moment is a holiday.”
“Every mans life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another.” Ernest Hemingway
As they removed Mom’s body, a gusty wind blew hard, holding the door open, the rain began, and lightening and thunder were in the sky. And then it was quiet again, the cleansing and passing complete.
Now, memories of her passion and love are all we have.
I miss you already, love, your son, John.
Life’s Rules by the Dalai Lama
As the numbers in our “age” increase we tend to look back at events, wondering if we could of handled them differently or if we did it just right. For some of us, this is a ongoing, constant review of our lives. This is tedious and not the best for our mental and physical states. So, let’s stop looking backwards and establish some new “life rules” to follow from now on. If these new ways of looking at life work and you like them, let’s share them with our grown kids and our grand kids. If we do, in the future, our world will be a little “nicer” and a better place to live.
These rules were written by the Dalai Lama in January of 2011 as he was reflecting on the new year. I hope you like them and choose some if not all to guide you and your family through life.
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs:
1. Respect for self
2. Respect for others
3. Responsibility for all your actions
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
You can find this article and much more at the great blog Everyday Minimalist.
Enjoy your Boomer Life.
Thanks for stopping by, John