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“It’s only words, and words are all I have”

“It’s only words, and words are all I have”

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Our brain is the most powerful computer in the Universe.

The Words we say to ourselves consciously and subconsciously determine our lives.  We must have a constant vigil of our words.  Use positive, re-enforcing, motivating and passionate words to create the life you want.

When we say, “I knew I couldn’t do it”, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. But, when we say, “I know I can do this”, that too is a self-fulfilling prophecy!  It’s the same number of words, it takes the same amount of effort to think or say.  Which would you rather use?

This is a great quote to help you remember the power of YOUR WORDs:

“Watch your thoughts; they become words.

Watch your words; they become actions.

Watch your actions, they become habits.

Watch your habits, they become character.

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”

-Frank Outlaw

As your mother used to tell you, “Watch your words my dear!”

Your words can make you HAPPY, or sad, it’s your choice!

Thanks, come back soon.

(© by John McFadden, 2011)

Service and Success, Albert Einstein Quote

Service and Success, Albert Einstein Quote

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Seventy Years Loving and Helping One Another

Frequently, I find quotes that deserve to be shared with you.  This is one of them.

With the greed on Wall Street  and other negative elements in life, and the terrible, brutal assaults on children and even strangers, everyone needs to step back and evaluate what is important in life.

“It is high time the ideal of success should be replaced with the ideal of service…. Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile. ” —Albert Einstein

As the Beatles sang, “All You Need Is Love”.  Spread your love in the world and you will get the same in return.

Love to all.

Come back soon.

Egypt and the Flu

Egypt and the Flu

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Should I or Shouldn't I

(A note before we start.  I am very happy for the people of Egypt and their new found freedom.  Today, I am using their revolution as a metaphor for an unhappy or unfulfilled personal life.  I am in no way minimizing the importance of the revolution and comparing my plight to an entire country.)

The people of Egypt have been under the control of a dictator for decades.  During that time their lives have been controlled, their freedom denied, their daily options restricted and their hearts became heavy.

Much like the people of Egypt those of us who work in a corporate cubical, we too can feel controlled, living by the leaders rules, with no regard for our own personal needs and wants.  Under these circumstances our hearts become heavy and we become frustrated with pent up emotions and soon, our bodies start to show signs of stress and sickness.  In Egypt, a revolution released their frustration.  In our lives in a cubicle this frustration leads to sickness such as the flu.

During these times we can review our situation, decide what isn’t working for us, and plan a big, sometimes major, adjustment to our lives.   This is the time for inner reflection, then develop a long range life plan, gather our strength and take action.  Eventually, something “breaks”, in Egypt a revolution occurs, in our lives we get sick.

The flu hit me hard.  The cubicle stress finally became more than my body could fight off.  While throwing up and nursing my physical pains I used the time to evaluate my diet, my exercise  program (or lack of one) and my mental state of mind and compared my current life to the one I’d dreamed of.  Was I doing what I’d planned, what I love and was I doing what I needed to in order to have the life and retirement a want and deserve?  Apparently, I wasn’t because I was very sick.  Something had to change and quickly.

I spent the week taking care of my basic needs with rest, lots of hot tea and soaking in a hot tub with lavender salts.  It took a long time but it helped.  As I got stronger I began simple yoga moves and poses and meditation. During meditation I relaxed, healed my body and worked on my mind.

Through meditation I evaluated my current work situation and lifestyle.  I learned that I was allowing circumstances at work to make me overly stressed.  In turn, the stress caused me to come home at night and neglect my exercise and doing things, like photography and writing, that I’m passionate about.  In short, I was neglecting my inner spirit. I wondered if I should take the leap, like the duck in the photo and move on to better things and places.

In order to get better and be happier I used meditation and self affirmations to put my job into perspective.  I learned there are parts of my job that I like and I’m really good at my job overall.  I would no longer let this job define me.  I wrote affirmations focusing on the good things in my work and life and read them many times a day.  Soon  I was able to go to work, feeling good, and knowing this job is a necessary stepping stone to my long term life goals.  From that point on, work was a lot easier and I felt better. Then I was able to look deep inside and find the things I’m passionate about.  I found that I am most happy when helping others get the lives they want by writing articles like this and talking to people one on one or in small groups.  Also, I enjoy worldwide adventure and luxury travel and photography and being creative.

Knowing what motivates me and what I’m passionate about is a great relief, a great breakthrough for me and meant I now have something to build on and work for.  While recovering I set up and exercise plan, wrote a flight plan of how I’m going to get to a nice, comfortable retirement, in a great place where I can feed my creative spirit daily and be true to yourself.  From now on I’m living my plan daily and know that I will have the live I want.

The Revolution in Egypt and down time due to sickness such as the flu serve similar purposes, they are a chance to make major changes in our lives that puts us in the driver’s seat of our future.  In my situation, the flu started my own revolution and freed me from past constraints.  I hope you listen to your body because it’s talking to you everyday.  Find out what makes you feel good and passionate. Take care of your Mind, Body and Spirit.  Make a flight plan for your future and monitor your progress. Be happy and love your life.  Be a positive example for others.  Live long and love others.

5 Secrets To A Great Life

5 Secrets To A Great Life

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Sonoma Vineyard

A new vineyard doesn’t produce enough quality grapes to harvest for several years.  Like the vineyard, we start young and grow into healthy and productive people.  Along the way, we learn habits and develop thinking patterns that hold us back from becoming truly, healthy, happy people with great lives.

Fortunately, the vineyard grower has learned secrets to growing healthy grapes.  The same is true for us.  There are secrets to getting what we want and using our God given talents and living a Great Life.

1) Forgive yourself.  We’ve all done things in the past that weren’t right and are holding us back from being happy.  Those things are in the past, now it’s time to leave them behind and be your own best friend.  Be nice yourself.

2)  Talk nicely to yourself.  We all talk to ourselves constantly without even thinking about what we’re saying.  Now is the time to monitor your thoughts and self talk and make sure we’re saying things that help and support ourselves instead of being mean to ourselves.

3)  Be Healthy.  The vineyard grower nurtures his vines making sure they get all the water, nutrients and care they need to become healthy.  We have to do the same thing with our mind, body and spirit.  When we eat well, exercise, read good books, study and take care of ourselves we are happier and healthier.

4)  Love.  If we want others to love us, we must first love ourselves, then love those around us, and mankind.  We all have conflicts and don’t feel loved.  Today’s society is filled with angry people.  It helps when we send “good vibes” and love out to everyone around us, those in our family, those we work with, and even the clerk in the store and the stranger walking down the street.  A example of how to do this is called Ho-opono-pono.  Here’s a link to an overview http://www.hooponoponohelp.com/.

5)  Focus.  Focus you mind on what you want, not on what you don’t want.  When we have a problem we tend to focus on it and that only creates more of it.  Our thoughts create our reality.  Meaning, if we focus on how mad our spouse or boss is, you will get more of that. If we focus on not having enough money, that’s what we’ll get.  Turn your thoughts around.  Focus your thoughts on and visualize and feel, what it would be like for your boss to be nice or to have plenty of money to pay all your expenses and see what happens.  Your mind is more powerful than any computer in the world and it controls our lives.  Put it to good use and think about having what you want rather than what you don’t have.  It works, whether on relationships, opportunities or anything else.

Count Your Blessing,  Here’s a bonus secret.  It’s probably the most important one. Stop and count the blessings you have now and say thank you for them.  All of us, no matter where we are have something to be thankful for.  When you appreciate and honor what you have other great things will come to you.

You’re a powerful person.  Enjoy your Great Life.

You’re Fired!

You’re Fired!

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This is a mouse pad found in a supervisor’s office.  What message is it sending?  In today’s economic conditions smart companies should be praising, motivating and training the employees they haven’t laid off.  Not threatening them and managing by fear.  Fear and threats are counter productive to your success.

Here are a few examples of poor management that damages morale  and productivity and scare away the success you are working for.

Getting the whip out and telling employees if they don’t increase sales, take more calls, produce more product they’ll be punished until they improve.  Once person described the situation as, “the floggings will continue until morale improves.”

Focusing on mistakes and poor customer comments and not praising and thanking employees for positive comments.  An employee I know said that if they receive a complaint or negative customer comment they are immediately punished and threatened to improve or get out.  He explained, in contrast positive customer comments are not acknowleged quickly or even at all some times. He was in a group of peers when another employee told the boss about a good letter he received.  The boss took it lightly and didn’t give him the praise he deserved.  They employee felt bad the rest of the day, didn’t work at his peak level and will remember this incident for the rest of his career.  As the boss was beginning to leave, another employee said that she had received 3 complimentary letters in the passed two weeks.  How did the boss respond?  He said, “that’s great” and turned and walked away!

At another company a memo was sent to employees saying recent results have shown a continuous positive trend in sales and employee performance.  You’d think that would be a good thing, right?  Well, it goes on to say that because employees performance is improving and business is improving, the company is going to raise the goals and targets for satisfactory performance and possible bonuses.  So, in other words, employees, you’re doing good now, so we’ll raise your goals to make it harder to reach them.  Does that make sense?

Are these good ways to praise employees and motivate them to work hard and be loyal to the company.  Will these actions help the company meet their goals and be successful?  Will they encourage employees to stay with the company?  Will employees want to recommend the company to their friends as a good, fun, great place to work?

The www.nielsongroup.com which “coaches organizations for breakthrough performance” explains fear motivation below.  I’ve underlined key words.

“There are three types of motivation. The first is FEAR MOTIVATION, a “do it or else we can replace you” approach. This motivation in negotiating is basically the “take it or leave it” approach. Fear motivation is the easiest form of motivation; however, it is a motivation based on intimidation. The person in power is unable to effectively create a climate for other types of beneficial motivation. The person in power resorts to fear tactics for motivation. “Take it or leave it” often gets results because the person will do what you ask for fear of loss. Fear motivation always results in inner anger and resentment against the person using the fear tactics. Sometimes the threat of loss or punishment for motivation must be used, but should only be used when all other methods have failed. Fear motivation is the lowest form of motivation and usually results in “when the cat is away, the mice will play.”  (taken from http://www.nielsongroup.com/articles/articles_climateformotivation.shtml). The other types of motivation are Incentive Motivation and Casual Motivation which take a much more positive approach and are much more successful.

So, ask yourself, what kind of motivation are you using with your group, family, kids, employees and those who look to you for leadership?  Is your approached working well, giving the results you want?  How do these people look at you, do they want to help you be a success, or is every encounter a struggle.

Are you proud of the type of person you are and the way you treat others?

And most of all, would you want to work for YOU?

 

Five Human Truths

Five Human Truths

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As we look at our lives from the solitude and darkness within, to the sunny landscape around us we realize each of us are very different and unique.  We all have our own voice and spirit that is unique to us.  No one else is exactly like us. As mentioned in my previous post Now Is The Time For Reflection, it’s important to take time, at least once per year, to take some personal, alone time to reflect on where we are now, if we are being true to ourselves and where we want to go in the future.

Even with this uniqueness there are some things that each of us needs, just like others around us.  The Starwood Hotels group describes them as the Five Human Truths.  They strive to fulfill them each time you are their guest.    What is it that all of us need to feel good?

The 5 Human Truths

1)  We need to be understood

2)  We want to belong

3)  We long to feel special

4)  We crave more control over our lives

5)  We dream of reaching our potential.

When you’re by yourself, reflecting on the future, be sure these basic needs as well as your unique needs are being met.  If they are, life will be easier and feel more fulfilled.

You deserve to Live Well and be the real YOU!

Is That You?

Is That You?

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A Bedtime Story

(A Snippet Of Life To Be Read At Bedtime)

“Jack, thanks for the little nap.  I see we’re almost there.  How are you holding up, do you want me to drive?”

It was about a 6-hour drive from their home in Morgan, Utah.  The Acura SUV was comfortable on long road trips like this.  They talked a lot, listened to their iPod and Dr. Laura on satellite radio as the miles clicked by.  Finally, arriving in Kanab meant they had only about an hour until their arrival.

“No, I’m fine.  It will be good to get checked in and relax.  It’s so peaceful there. Remember the last time?  Our walk in the moonlight, hearing the eagles talking to each other? It was special being there with you. I’m glad we get to go again.”

When they arrived at the ultra secluded and private Amangiri Resort and Spa, the General Manager, the Front Desk manager and their personal guest relations’ girl, Amanda, met them on the front steps.

They were given a Desert View Suite looking out into the vast, colorful desert.  Opening the concertina glass doors they enjoyed the sitting area and the spacious desert that frames the view of the natural landscape beyond. They could smell the fresh desert air. The sun was low in the sky creating wonderful shadows.  It was simply enchanting.

After showering in the huge luxurious sage green tiled, double shower they dressed for dinner. They decided to sit at the end of the counter in the open kitchen where they watched the chefs prepare their Utah elk loin, served with dried cherries, buttered spaghetti squash and cooked spinach.

After dinner they sat in the library and soaked in the spacious view of the desert plateau. The night was just as magical as the first time. Romance filled the air.

***

The Page, Arizona airport was small and not much was going on.  That is one reason it was chosen.  The Lear Jet taxied slowly to the terminal.

Two casually dressed men and an attractive woman climbed down the air-stairs and greeted the athletic young gentleman, their driver.  He was wearing aviator style sunglasses and was aware of everything going on around them. His shoes were not what you’d normally wear with dress pants; they were too athletic, easy to run in.  Obviously, he was more than just a driver.  The three guests got in the back of the dark colored BMV SUV and drove off quickly towards the Utah border.

The drive was only 9 miles, arriving at the Amangiri shortly after dusk.  There was a light rain that made the dessert plateau have that fresh, earthy smell.  The scent you always smell after a summer thunderstorm.

The same staff as the first guests greeted them.  Checking in was simplified, followed by a brief tour of the property, then to their Terrace Pool Suites.

“Michael, the gravel road we drove in on, is that the only access the property?”

“Yes Mr. Maddox, no one can enter the property without us knowing about it.  Even the airspace is restricted due to the sensitive eco-system we have here.  You won’t be bothered here or anywhere on our property.”

“Thanks, we have some sensitive meetings and negotiations to conduct while we’re here and want our privacy.”  They entered their suites an opened the glass doors and admired the view of the natural landscape beyond.

***

Dark had fallen over the desert.  They met the others outside near the pool.  It was a mixed group, men, women and a few teenagers.  The astronomer led them on a dirt trail up the side and to the top of the bluff.  Below, the desert floor was quiet; above the noises of the night were clear and the soft light from the full moon shined on them.

The astronomer and the Native American, Eagle Feather, explained the formations they could see on the surface of the moon and in the majestic sky.  Everyone had the chance to look through the powerful telescope and saw the true beauty and pure power of nature.

Eagle Feather explained, “Full Moon rituals are healing rituals, magical workings, times of growth, inspiration, and insight. At Full Moon, we celebrate fulfillment, fertility, and the bearing of fruit from our projects. Full Moon rituals range from very structured to very spontaneous.”

Afterward, a large fire was built and they all sat around listening to each other’s stories and experiences.

Jack and Kathy shared the spiritual awakening they had experienced during their many trips to the Red Rocks area of Utah.

“Jack, is that you?” a voice said from across the hot flames of the campfire.  “It’s David, David Maddox from high school.”

“David, I haven’t seen you in 25 years.  How are you? I hear you’ve done well for yourself.”

“Yes, I’ve been lucky.  What are you doing these days?”

“My wife and I run a small publishing house for young writers who wouldn’t otherwise get their work published”.

For hours they discussed each other’s lives and compared stories.  They wondered about all their old friends.  Finally, David said, “Jack, I’d be willing to help you get more writers and fund your publishing.  We could grow the company to be a major player.  Then we could sell it, you’d make a nice profit and retire, and be able to get a little place, do some writing, maybe publish a couple of new authors and travel to the desert as often as you want.  What do you think?”

“David, I already do that and have a nice little property in Morgan and come down here anytime I want.  I don’t need to be a big shot.  I already have everything I want.  Maybe you should think about selling off some companies and retiring to a big ranch somewhere.”

The campfire was burning down and it was late. They agreed to get together again soon and strolled back to their rooms for the night.

***

“I’m glad you got to see David.  He’s really made it big, hasn’t he?  Do you think he’s happy? Do you wish you took his path in life?”

“Honey, I’m totally happy right here with you.  We have a great life, don’t you think?

“Jack, I wouldn’t have it any other way.  We are blessed to have this life together.”

“Now get some sleep so we can go to the slot canyons tomorrow.”

They agreed their lives are good, and just the way they want them to be.  They wished others were as excited about life as they are.

Kathy gave him a gentle kiss and cuddled closer to his warm chest, closed her eyes and drifted off to peaceful sleep.

***

Right Under Your Nose

Right Under Your Nose

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Right Under Your Nose

A Bedtime Story

(A Snippet Of Life To Be Read At Bedtime)

Their phones sounded off at the same time, signaling a text had come in.  It read, “Urgent, car will pick you up in 3 hours.  Meet Andre in Paris tomorrow at 6pm.  You will be taken to La Mirande in Avignon.  Security will be tight.”

They had known each other for about 10 years, working at the same companies.  Over time they’d become very close in a casual way,  able to discuss even their most private thoughts and desires.  They’d celebrated birthdays together, met each others families and traveled together for work.  Because of this strong friendship and being kindred spirits, neither of them had tried to be get closer or become intimate. Although, if pressed, they both admit they had thought about it before.  But, work always came first.

They flew private, sleeping most of the way. The plan was to spend the afternoon in Paris at a hotel and wait for Andre to pick them up that evening and take them to La Mirande.

Their suite at the Four Seasons George V had two bedrooms with a living room and balcony overlooking the City of Love. It was quite luxurious and indulgent with silk sheets, furnished with antiques, an oversized soaking tube and on the table in front of the window, a large plate of French pastries to die for.

“Logan, would you bring my purse to me please?”  He picked up her purse and walked into the one of the bedrooms.  There, lying on the bed was Sarah in an alluring black lace underwear set.  He’d never seen her so, so, shall we say uninhibited and beautiful.  Even a Victoria’s Secret model would be proud.

“Logan, lay down with me and let’s get some rest before Andre arrives.”

Logan was caught off guard. “I think we should get everything organized for tomorrow, don’t you?”

“I guess.” she said, getting off the bed and going into the living room to have a Pain aux raisins pastry.  Logan couldn’t take his eyes off her beautiful curves.

They went over their plans on how tomorrow would unfold.

“Hello?”  “Yes Andre, is there a problem?”

“There’s been a glitch and we won’t be going to Avignon until tomorrow night.  You can relax and enjoy the hotel and the city for a while.  I hope it’s not too much of an inconvenience for either of you.”  “See you tomorrow.”

“Well Sarah,  how would you like to spend our evening together?”

“We’re in the City of Love, let’s see if it really is.”

They changed into evening cloths, her in a short, tight little black dress, and him in slacks, loafers and a new silk shirt that he’d splurged on. They walked along the Seine as darkness fell and the lights along the street and in the cafes came on. They could feel something special and magical surrounding them.  She knew tonight would be memorable.

On the rue Saint Martin they found a bistro like no other.  A butcher, Benoit Matray who prepared fragrant, traditional Lyon-Style dishes like those made by his mother, started Benoit Bistro.  They learned that in 2005-famed Michelin stared Chef Alain Ducasse purchased the little bistro on the corner.

Dinner was slow paced and delicious.  They dined on beef bourguignon and Emincé de Volaille sauce Roquefort – Pommes de terre sautées. To you and me, that’s Thinly sliced fillet of chicken with Roquefort sauce – Sautéed potatoes. With all the courses and wine, and of course chatting, dinner took over 2 hours.  They strolled back to the hotel slowly in the cool night air of romantic Paris.

The lights in the large suite had been turned down, as were the beds.  Soft music was coming from the stereo.  They embraced, saying goodnight.  The embrace was long and gentle.  It was difficult to pull apart and go to their own rooms.

He wondered if he should do what he was thinking and feeling.  Sarah answered that question for him when she kissed him and led him to the luxurious, indulgent, overstuffed bed.

During breakfast the next morning, he wondered why he hadn’t noticed her more when she was right under his nose all the time.

Thomas Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson

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This quote seems to be appropriate in today’s unsettled climate in America,

“The two enemies of the people are criminals and government, so let us
tie the second down with the chains of the Constitution so the second
will not become the legalized version of the first.” – Thomas
Jefferson

Do You Know Who You Are, really?

Do You Know Who You Are, really?

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We tend to attach our identity to one part of our lives.  It could be work, “I’m an accountant”, “I work for 3M”, or it could be a person, “I’m Mary’s husband”.  But aren’t you a whole lot more than that one thing?

Yes you are.  As an example, your job does not define you and it shouldn’t consumer all your waking thoughts.  Instead, honor all that you are and can be.  When you think of yourself as a whole person, your work, your relationships, your artistic side, your love of sports, and your charitable activities you will be happier.  That happiness will be projected out into the world and new people and opportunities will come your way.

So, how do you decide who you really are?

One way is to ask yourself the “I am …….” questions.

Get a piece of paper and write down “I am (a good person, happy, a good brother/husband/sister/wife)”.

As you do this it’s important to say the words out loud.  Say what you are out loud, then write it down.  It sounds simple, most good things are, but keep at it.  Fill the page up with your wonderful traits, habits, talents, etc.

When you’re done say them out loud everyday.  Soon, you’ll find yourself with more confidence, holding your head up high, being happier, living life with style, and show the world who you are.  Then you’ll attract new people into your life and you’ll help each other to live your dreams.

Give it a try, it can’t hurt.

(I’d like to thank Denise Silvernail for introducing me to this technique. When your web site is up I’ll refer readers to you.)