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5 Steps to Building a Tree House – Step 1

5 Steps to Building a Tree House – Step 1

Family Maple Tree - Winter
Family Maple Tree – Winter

A great activity for vintage Baby Boomers and Boomer Grandpas is to design and build a Tree House with your kids, grand kids and other family members.  It’s a awesome bonding and teaching experience.  I plan on having the little kids do the painting and accessories when it’s time.  That way everyone can be involved.  When it’s finished we’ll have something for the family to use and have fun with for a lifetime.  Here’s my story, sort of a documentation of how we are building it.  Each stage will be a separate post.

Our family is blessed with a beautiful Maple tree in our back yard.  It’s part of our kids’ heritage and memories from growing up around it.  There have been hundreds of picnics, barbecues, tea parties, games of tag, birthday parties, and celebrations under our tree and in its cooling shade in the hot summers.  It shares it’s beauty in each season.  Summer is big green leaves and lots of comforting shade.  Fall is the only season when our tree requires our work or maintenance.  As fall progresses the big green leaves turn orange and then yellow, finally dropping from the branches, landing on the grass.  Here’s where the work comes in, someone, as in Me or our Kids.  I choose the kids for this job as they need to learn to work and care for what we are blessed with, right?  Hear that kids?

You see our tree above after the last snowfall of this winter.

All the snow has melted now and it’s time to build a Tree House

Step 1 Choosing your tree –  In our case we have only one tree to choose from.  By tree house standards this is a small tree which won’t really support much of a structure up in the tree.  So, we decided to build around the tree rather than in the tree.  You’ll need to choose a good strong tree, the right tree, then build the right tree house in or around it.  The formation or structure of the tree will determine the size and elements you will be able to have in your tree house.

That’s Stage 1.  Hope it gives you some ideas to build your own tree house.  Stay tuned for the next stage, Planning Your Tree House coming soon.

Thanks for stopping by, John

 

 

Live Epic with Lisa Nichols

Live Epic with Lisa Nichols

Lisa Nichols is one of the nicest and enthusiastic people I know of.  I always feel hopeful and inspired after watching one of her talks.  Hope you enjoy this one.

Here she shows how you can Do Good, Live Epic and really enjoy life without selling your soul to the devil.  She says, “I used to think it was all about making money, but that was because I was broke!”

Hope you enjoyed this and feel Inspired to live your Authentic Life.

Thanks, John

 

6 Stages Of Retirement

6 Stages Of Retirement

Bell Rock, Sedona, AZ
Bell Rock, Sedona, AZ

 

Recently, I retired after several months of medical leave.  It’s the best thing I ever did!  Much more relaxing and less stress then the daily 9-5 and long commuting.  But, I discovered that retiring can throw you for a loop emotionally and psychologically.  You might find yourself questioning your purpose, value and who the heck you are as a person.  That’s a shocker.

Below is a great article on the stages of retirement.  There are many different ideas about the effects of retirement but this is a good article to start with.  Happy Retirement!

 

Journey Through The 6 Stages Of Retirement By Mark P. Cussen, CFP®, CMFC, AFC

Most major life-changing events, such as marriage or divorce, involve an ongoing process of emotional adjustment. Retirement is no exception. Marriage, divorce and other family-related issues have been the focus of decades of research and analysis by both clinical therapists and religious institutions.

Unfortunately, the emotional and psychological frontier of retirement has remained virtually unexplored until recently. However, while research on this subject has barely begun, it is clear that the psychological process of retirement process follows a pattern similar in nature to the emotional phases accompanying other areas of transition. Read on to discover the six stages of retirement and what you can do to prepare for this important life transition. (For related reading, see Life After Retirement.)

Retirement: The Final Frontier
Retirees must face what is essentially the last transition in their lives. The first transition comes when we leave the security of home to begin our school life in kindergarten, and after school we have the rest of the day to ourselves. Another major transition comes when we join the working world. Now we work all week but still have the weekend to ourselves. Then finally comes retirement, a time when careers are over and the work is done. Retirees have the rest of their lives to themselves. The transition into retirement can be broken down into six main phases. Let’s take a closer look at each of these phases.

1. Pre-retirement – Planning Time
During the working years, retirement can appear to be both an oncoming burden and a distant paradise. Workers know that this stage of their lives is coming, and do everything they can to save for it, but often give little thought to what they will actually do once they reach the goal – the current demands that are placed upon them leave them little time to ponder this issue. Many people face retirement like a running back on the football field who dodges or plows through one defender after another until reaching the end zone. It’s hard for many workers to think seriously about what their lives will be like in 20 or 30 years when they are trying to stay on top of their mortgage, put their kids through college and have a little fun in the meantime. They want to reach the end zone, but other issues will tackle them long before then if they don’t take immediate action. (For more insight, check out Enjoy Life Now And Still Save For Later and Life Planning – More Than Just Money.)

2. The Big Day – Smiles, Handshakes, Farewells
By far the shortest stage in the retirement process is the actual cessation of employment itself. This is often marked by some sort of dinner, party or other celebration, and has become a rite of passage for many, especially for those with distinguished careers. In some respects, this event is comparable to the ceremony that marks the beginning of a marriage.

3. Honeymoon Phase – I’m Free!
Of course, honeymoons follow more than just weddings. Once the retirement celebrations are over, a period often follows where retirees get to do all the things that they wanted to do once they stopped working, such as travel, indulge in hobbies, visit relatives and so forth. This phase has no set time frame and will vary depending upon how much honeymoon activity the retiree has planned.

4. Disenchantment – So this is it?
This phase parallels the stage in marriage when the emotional high of the wedding has worn off and the couple now has to get down to the business of building a working relationship together. After looking forward to this stage for so long, many retirees must deal with a feeling of letdown, similar to that of newlyweds who must get down the the business of living once the honeymoon is over. Retirement isn’t a permanent vacation after all; it also can bring lowliness, boredom, feelings of uselessness and disillusionment.

5. Reorientation – Building a New Identity
Fortunately, the letdown phase of retirement doesn’t last forever. Just as married couples eventually learn how to live together, retirees begin to familiarize themselves with the landscape of their new circumstances and navigate their lives accordingly. This is easily the most difficult stage in the emotional retirement process and will take both time and conscious effort to accomplish. Perhaps the most difficult aspects of this stage to manage are the inevitable self-examination questions that must be answered once again, such as “Who am I, now?”, “What is my purpose at this point?” and “Am I still useful in some capacity?” New – and satisfying – answers to these questions must be found if the retiree is to feel a sense of closure from his or her working days. But many retirees cannot achieve this and never truly escape this stage – make sure you do!

6. Routine – Moving On
Finally, a new daily schedule is created, new marital ground rules for time together versus time alone are established, and a new identity has been at least partially created. Eventually, the new landscape becomes familiar territory, and retirees can enjoy the last phase of their lives with a new sense of purpose.

Conclusion
Life planning is an important key to successful retirement. Workers that have given serious time and thought to what they will do after they retire will generally experience a smoother transition than those who haven’t. Dreams and goals that cannot be achieved with a single trip or project may translate into long-term part-time employment or volunteer work. But it is never too soon to begin mapping out the course of the rest of your life. (To get started, read A Pre-Retirement Checkup.)

As with all emotional processes that can be broken down into separate phases, it is not necessary to completely achieve one phase before beginning another (except, of course, for the actual cessation of employment). But virtually all retirees will experience some form of this process after they stop working. Their ability to navigate these uncharted waters will ultimately determine how they live the last phase of their lives.

Original post at http://www.investopedia.com/articles/retirement/07/sixstages.asp

For more on the emotional transition to retirement, see Money Can’t Buy Retirement Bliss.

Read more: Journey Through The 6 Stages Of Retirement | Investopedia http://www.investopedia.com/articles/retirement/07/sixstages.asp#ixzz41yfnRlVV
Follow us: Investopedia on Facebook

 

Thanks for stopping by.  Hope to see you again soon, John

5 Travel Trends for 2016

5 Travel Trends for 2016

Being a Baby Boomer with more free time now, travel is one of my priorities.  I found these interesting trends for 2016 on Smartertravel.com .

My advice is to ask questions and know what you’re buying and paying for.

Happy Travels, John

5 Awful Travel Trends That Should Worry You in 2016
by Ed Perkins – December 22, 2015
18

Our prediction: Expect big changes from Southwest Airlines and other major players in the year ahead.

The big travel news in 2016 is likely to follow a few main themes. I talk about “themes” rather than “stories,” because instead of blockbuster announcements, you’re more likely to see ongoing developments throughout the year—new approaches to old problems, and new fights over new problems. It may not be a great year for travelers, but it will certainly be an interesting one. Here are some worrying trends to watch for in the year ahead.
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Look Before You Book

The primary struggle in the 2016 travel marketplace will be between individual airlines, hotel chains, and rental car companies on one side and the powerful third-party online travel agents (OTAs) and legacy Global Distribution Systems (GDS) on the other. Predictably, the biggest loser is likely to be consumers who aren’t paying attention.

The push is coming from the airlines and hotels: They want you to book through their own websites, not through OTAs. Specifically they want to (1) “own” your loyalty so that they can sell you more than just a basic room or ticket, and (2) to avoid the sizable costs of paying both the OTA and the GDS to transact a sale. To get you, they are increasingly offering special deals and packaged product combinations available only when you book direct, such as Hilton’s and Marriott’s offer of “free” Wi-Fi to direct bookers. Even deals as basic as a senior and AAA hotel discounts may not be posted on a GDS or OTA website.

RELATED: 7 Secrets of Ultralow Airfares

The OTAs, of course, want to protect their turf. So far, their best leverage remains their ability to compare prices across many different lines and brands. The OTAs have allies in some big business travel buyers, where travel management systems are closely integrated with the GDS. The OTAs are doing as much as they can to adapt. But for now, consumers should at least look for deals available on a supplier’s website before booking through any third party.
Consort with the Enemy

Although you’re already seeing more “hot destinations in 2016” reports that you can assimilate (here’s ours), you can expect two main developments. A lot of ink and pixels will be devoted to two countries, once fairly popular, then off-limits enemies for many years, and now newly christened possible friends again: Cuba and Iran.

Given the new agreement for scheduled direct flights, you’ll be seeing a lot about Cuba in 2016. Cuba has some of the world’s best beaches, alluringly close to the U.S. East Coast. And Iran has a great mix of scenery and historic sites.

The difficulty with both countries, however, is that neither is really ready for a massive influx of U.S. tourists, either culturally or practically. Although Havana and Cuba’s beaches are already heavily built up for Canadian and European visitors, they don’t have the capacity for a huge increase, nor do they have enough high-end properties.

Iran is even less prepared than Cuba, with limited tourist accommodations and limited English-language staff. Moreover, even with eased relations, neither country is likely to allow free, unfettered roaming by U.S. travelers; guides or groups may be required. If you can find the right trip, go; but don’t expect to travel as freely as you can in most of the rest of the world.

Despite all those isolated supposedly “trendy” areas—one prominent source is touting Greenland—most people will keep heading for the same places that people went to last year: Orlando, Las Vegas, New York, San Francisco, Europe, and the other long-term popular spots.
Subdivide Coach and Economy

Airlines around the world will keep subdividing their “main cabin” coach/economy products into multiple “brands” with differing price and product features. New approaches will extend the envelope at both the high and low ends of the price/quality spectrum.

RELATED: The Best Premium Economy Airlines in the World
Premium Economy

For a long time, the “better than ordinary economy” air travel segment has been bifurcated: Many long-haul airlines based outside the U.S. (plus Air Canada) adopted “true” premium economy, with wider seats than regular economy, up to eight inches of additional leg- and workroom, and improved cabin service. Fares are typically almost double regular economy. Conversely, the big three U.S. legacy lines, Alaska, Hawaiian, and JetBlue (plus KLM) adopted “semi” premium economy, with a few inches of extra legroom but little else. Each-way fares are typically around $100 more than regular economy for transcontinental flights; less for short flights.

That’s about to change. In 2015, American announced it will add a true premium economy on long-haul international planes, while still retaining its semi-premium product on those planes and almost all its domestic and short-haul planes. According to trade sources, Delta is about to do the same. So, in 2016, you can look for United to copy American and Delta. Also, some current true-premium economy lines will add the lower-cost “semi” option. And for both premium options, expect more airlines to adopt “auction” or “bidding” schemes for regular economy travelers to upgrade.

Two intriguing questions remain, One is pretty obvious: How will Virgin America respond? Currently, it, along with many other airlines, sells extra-legroom bulkhead and exit row seats, but Virgin adds a lot of extras and charges up to three times the base coach fares. It’s hard to see how Virgin can avoid adding a competitively priced semi-premium coach sub-cabin to match all its primary competitors.

Although Southwest has always insisted it’s a one-class airline, it recently announced that its IT system now—for the first time— has the capability to assign seats and add different classes. Despite a strong one-class tradition, it’s clear that Southwest wants to attract more business travelers, and it’s equally clear that the extra-legroom options on competitors Alaska, American, Delta, JetBlue, and United look attractive to a lot of business travelers. Don’t be surprised to see Southwest go premium (or more likely semi-premium) on at least some planes.
Sub-Economy

American and Delta have established low-end sub-brands that emulate low-end airlines, mainly Frontier and Spirit. Fares are lower than regular coach fares, but totally unbundled: Tickets are totally nonrefundable and everything but a seat is extra. So far, seating is in the same cabin as regular coach, but because travelers can’t reserve seats in advance, they stand a high likelihood of being stuffed into middle seats. And some lines may install separate sub-economy cabin sections.

As with the high-end situation, United will almost certainly follow American and Delta, so the big question is how the others will respond. So far, we have no indication, but the “we will not be undersold” airfare tradition exerts a strong pull.

4 Ways Retired? Out of work? Now’s the time to Reinvent Yourself

4 Ways Retired? Out of work? Now’s the time to Reinvent Yourself

Sick of the daily grind?
Sick of the daily grind?

Baby Boomers and others, sometimes find themselves faced with situations that are life changing.  Maybe you got laid off, forced to retire early or you’re just sick of all the hassles, politics, daily commuting and daily grind.

What to do?  Now’s the perfect time to Reinvent Yourself!  Do what you’ve always want to do!  Be a teacher, made wooden furniture, teach music, travel guide, become a voice over artist, a researcher, or become and author and speaker.  Do what makes you happy.  As they say, it’s now or never.

Below, is the story of an athlete that was forced to change careers, and how he did it.  There’s lots of good information in his article.  Additionally, there is great information online.  Go for your Dreams!  Create a new life for yourself.  You can begin today!

(original article can be found at http://www.success.com/article/4-tips-to-reinvent-yourself-lewis-howes-style) or click here.

4 Tips to Reinvent Yourself, Lewis Howes Style

How to go from a nobody to a wildly successful somebody
November 24, 2015

It all began, as many things do, with devastation and a door closing, permanently.

All-American football player and decathlete Lewis Howes sustained a wrist injury in 2007. The resulting surgery landed him in a cast for six months and out of the game forever.

As he recovered on his sister’s sofa, Howes pondered his future and didn’t like what he saw: no career, no college degree, no money.

Christmas came and he was still living on that sofa. He got one gift that year, from his brother who drew his Secret Santa. It was a book. “As a dyslexic who struggles with reading, I remember thinking it was one of the worst gifts you could give anyone like me,” he recalls. “Plus, it wasn’t even wrapped.”

The book was The 4-Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss—and Howes read it in three days, cover to cover. “Which, for me, was really fast,” he says. “I couldn’t put it down.” On the fourth day, he closed the book and said out loud: “One day I’m going to become really good friends with the author, Tim Ferriss.”

He had no idea how it was going to happen. Ferriss was already a big deal and “I was a nobody,” Howes shrugs. But on that day, eight years ago, he drew his line in the sand. Howes decided someday he would write a book. He would inspire and open up possibilities for millions of people around the world, the way Ferriss’ book had just opened up his.

And so he has. A few weeks ago, Lewis Howes found out that his book, The School of Greatness—based on his wildly successful podcast—is a New York Times best-seller. In eight years, the journey had come full circle.

In our culture, you hear many near-mythical tales of prodigies, golden men and women, and instant success. And, should this be your perception of Lewis Howes’ success, he deprives you of it immediately. It was a long, hard road of twists and turns, missteps, and trial and error.

So, maybe you’re broken and broke, too, not sure what’s next, either. His story can help you reinvent yourself and who knows, maybe, just maybe, build your own multi-million dollar business:

1. Find a mentor or three.

The first thing Howes did was find mentors. “I had been an athlete. I knew that the better the coach, the better I got. And so I very consciously looked for people to help coach me.”

He had three mentors during the long stretch on his sister’s couch—let’s just call them the Sofa Years.

It so happened that Howes despised the cast he was stuck in for six months. “It kept scratching my face, plus it smelled and was ugly.” And so he created an arm sleeve to cover the cast. It occurred to Howes that there might be a market for his creation. His girlfriend made an introduction to an inventor she knew.

Their first meeting was in a bar. “I was this talky jock walking into the bar with a backward cap on. I got up the nerve to ask him to mentor me.” And the inventor did. He taught Howes everything about taking a product to market: creating, branding, marketing, packaging, licensing, even how to name things.

That product went nowhere, but it served as a catalyst for Howes learning how to market and brand.

Another mentor had mentioned that Howes should check out LinkedIn, which he did, so much so that in 2009 he went on to self-publish a book about it. A third mentor helped Howes figure out how to leverage that book.

2. Put yourself out there and learn from everyone you meet.

Remember Neo from The Matrix? Howes did his best to channel him during the Sofa Years. “I said as long as I’m here, I want to be like Neo and download as much information and build as many skills as I can and really I put myself out there.”

One of those skills was salsa dancing. And it was during salsa that Howes met a guy who traveled around the world and gave speeches for a living. Howes was terrified of public speaking and asked his new friend for advice on how to be a better public speaker. The man urged Howes to join Toastmasters.

The following week, Howes found a Toastmasters meeting nearby. He attended every single week for a year. By the end of the year he had overcome his fear of public speaking. It was another piece of the puzzle: “an incredible journey of becoming more influential and more impactful in my message,” he says.

3. Hone your instincts and honor them.

Howes’ sister was amazingly supportive through all the troubles and experiments of the Sofa Years. Eighteen months in, she asked him, in the gentlest way possible, if he could begin pitching in by getting a job. “I said yes, of course. I was putting myself out there so much, but nothing was happening for me,” he recalls. He began searching Craigslist for sports marketing jobs in Columbus, Ohio. He sent out a slew of résumés and eventually got called in for an interview.

On the day of the interview, he couldn’t leave the house. “I was paralyzed. I had a feeling I was going to get the job,” he says, “and my instincts told me I was about to make a big mistake.” He called and canceled.

“I was still working with my mentor, the inventor, and I remember telling him I could really use some money.” Howe will never forget what the man told him: “He said, ‘Lewis, money will come to you at the exact moment when you’re ready for it.’”

It wasn’t until much later that Howes understood exactly what that meant.

4. Stay consistent, build momentum and master the art of the leverage.

“The first time I made $1,000 off sponsorships for a three-hour LinkedIn networking event, I was floored,” he says. For the next several years, Howes hosted dozens of these events around the country. He promoted them through his ever-growing channels and they continued to build momentum. He emphasizes the importance of consistency: “People will start a project or company and will stop because it got too hard. I was consistent in doing the same thing and building momentum.”

But consistency doesn’t mean you get too comfortable. Howes mastered every opportunity and then leveraged it to move to the next level. Following one of his events, he was approached to do a free live webinar. That led to him teaching an advanced webinar. He liked it. He also found it lucrative. “At the end of that first session, I gave out my PayPal link. Within an hour there was $6,200 in my account.”

That was a game changer, he recalls. “I could teach people from all over the world information that I know from my laptop? I thought, I’ll do this every day!”

And so he began to master the webinar, both to build his game and his audience. It worked. Since 2009, he has conducted close to 1,000 webinars, with more than $10 million in sales.

Build The School of Greatness and they will come.

Howes knew it was time to move on when he began to lose his passion for the webinars. He sold the company to his partner and began to look around for his next gig. He moved from NYC to LA for a girl. She broke up with him the day he got there.

“It was so dramatic, being in a new city, and I was stuck in traffic all day.”

One day, during the hour it took him to inch forward a single mile, it occurred to him that there had to be a way to get in front of all these people, literally sitting in misery. He recalled the goal he had started out at the outset of the Sofa Years: to inspire, to open up possibilities for millions of people around the world.

The rest is history, of course. The School of Greatness book launched a few weeks ago and soon hit the New York Times best-seller list. The podcast has an audience of millions. And Howes himself is something of a phenomenon, particularly in the way he inspires people to do what they otherwise may not have had the courage to do: Start an ice cream company. Heal a relationship. Lose 100 pounds.

They come to his readings, from hundreds of miles away, to tell him their stories.

His success, he says, is all about connection, love and intimacy. He thinks people relate to him because he shares his pain. Because he’s open about his vulnerabilities. Because he shows his imperfections and fears.

This is what I believe, he tells me: “We were born to be great, to discover our unique gifts and talents and to pursue our dreams, even as they evolve. It’s our duty to go after our dreams. Because not only are we ourselves more fulfilled when we do, but we also inspire others to do the same. We give each other the courage.”

And with that, Howes bids me a quick goodbye, and school is dismissed.

– See more at: http://www.success.com/article/4-tips-to-reinvent-yourself-lewis-howes-style#sthash.1MISFB95.dpuf

10 Keys To Happiness

10 Keys To Happiness

We all want to be Happy, right?  Sometimes happiness escapes us, including Baby Boomers, and Grandpas, especially when we go through life changing events such as retirement.   An event like that can turn every part of our lives upside down.  Don’t worry there is help and there’s always HOPE.  Learn to Be Your Best.

REJOICE! (© Photo and text by John McFadden)
REJOICE! (© Photo and text by John McFadden)

This article from addicted2success.com (move down for article) can help you get back on you’re real path to happiness and the life you’ve always wanted.

1. Acceptance

Dwelling on our flaws makes it exceedingly difficult to achieve happiness in our lives.

Accepting ourselves and being kind to ourselves increase our enjoyment, resilience, and well-being.

 

2. Appreciation

Once you start noticing the world around you, you will begin to appreciate it that much more. If you’ve ever felt that there has to be more to life, you’d be safe in your assumptions. You just need to stop every now and then so you can take the time to appreciate what’s out there.

 

3. Direction

You have to have goals in order to feel good about the future. That takes direction and motivation. Our goals must be challenging yet realistically achievable. Attempting the impossible creates undue stress. However, choosing ambitious goals gives us direction.

 

4. Emotion

Regularly experiencing positive emotions such as contentment, gratitude, inspiration, and pride helps us to develop our resources.

It helps us focus on the positive aspects in our lives (the glass is half full, not half empty).

 

5. Exercising

Your mind is connected with your body. So when we are active it not only benefits our physical health, it makes us happier. Our moods improve and we can even lift ourselves out of depression as a result.

Interestingly enough, our activities do not have to involve complex exercises. There are simple things that we can do every day so that we are more active.

 

6. Giving

Caring about others and doing for others is vital to a person’s happiness. When we give to others or help them, it makes us happier and we become healthier in the process.

Giving helps us to create a better society. However, it also helps us to develop stronger connections with those around us.

 

7. Meaning

People feel more in control, get more out of their efforts, and are typically happier when their lives have meaning and purpose. Plus, they experience less anxiety, depression, and stress in their lives.

 

8. Relationships

Relating with others is quite possibly the greatest contributor to our happiness. Individuals who have broader, stronger relationships with others are happier and healthier. It also helps us to live longer.

We can increase our self-worth by developing close relationships with our family members and friends.

 

9. Resilience

All of us have experienced failure, loss, stress, and trauma in our lives. However, it is the way we react and respond to these issues that can have a huge impact on our lives and well-being. In other words, it is the way that we bounce back when we get knocked down.

 

10. Trying out

There are a number of positive benefits to learning. You get exposed to new ideas which enables you to stay curious and learn new things.

We become more resilient and improve our self-confidence, eventually gaining a sense of accomplishment.

 

Closing note: if you unscramble the first letter of each component above (A, A, D, E, E, G, M, R, R, and T) it spells “GREAT DREAM”.

10 Blessings for This Season

10 Blessings for This Season

The Holiday Season, yes Christmas, and other faith based holidays are known to be stressful for lots of people including Baby Boomers and many people around the world. Today, I’d like to give you these 10 Blessings. Keep your dreams alive and set high expectations for your life.  You can keep these words in your heart and mind and make good use of them.  Share them with others who need to know that someone cares for them.

May your Holidays and the coming new year be the best ever for you and yours.

10 Blessings for You
10 Blessings for You

Thanks for stopping by.  Come back soon, John

5 Wishes When Near Death

5 Wishes When Near Death

Mom's Funeral

Let’s face it Baby Boomers, even though we think we’re invincible, we won’t live forever.  So let’s keep living life to the fullest!   While we do, we probably want to evaluate our life priorities.

Here are 5 reasons to live life well now so you don’t have life regrets when your near the end of life.  Now is the time to think about this and make changes before regrets arise.

Top five regrets of the dying,

There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps. A palliative nurse who has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. And among the top, from men in particular, is ‘I wish I hadn’t worked so hard’.

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. “When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently,” she says, “common themes surfaced again and again.”

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

“This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.”

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

“Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

“This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”

What’s your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?

The top five regrets of the dying
A palliative nurse has recorded the top five regrets of the dying. Photograph: Montgomery Martin/Alamy Montgomery Martin / Alamy/Alamy
How to Believe in Yourself

How to Believe in Yourself

Believing You Can Do It!
Believing You Can Do It by Yourself!

 

Some people are very confident in themselves right from the start of live.  Others aren’t so much, and many are in between.  Here are some tips on how to turn that around and truly believe in yourself and do the things you love and create your perfect life!

Here we go….

How to Believe in Yourself in the Face of Overwhelming Self-Doubt

Stand Strong

“When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.” ~Honore de Balzac

You know what that voice in your head says…

You can’t do it. You’ll never be good enough. You’re going to fail.

This voice taunts you whenever you set a goal. It criticizes you when life gets difficult. It beats you down when you struggle to stand up against its running commentary.

You know you shouldn’t let self-doubt bother you, but it’s a sneaky critter. Sometimes, you just can’t contain it and it slips past your barriers.

And self-doubt is greedy. When it’s loose, it devours your confidence, strips logic and reason from your mind, and steals happiness from your heart. In return, it leaves you with only fear and insecurity.

You try to remove self-doubt by forcing yourself to “think positive,” which usually doesn’t work as well as you think it should.

The more you fight your self-doubt, the more it fights back. However, with self-knowledge and understanding, you can use self-doubt for your benefit.

A Story about Crushing Dreams and “Being Realistic”

When I was a child, I was in love with drawing. For me, drawing was as exciting as going to the playground.

At some point in my childhood, I decided I’d become an artist of some kind. But the critics in my life were quick to cut me down. I’ll bet you’ve heard the same kind of clichés:

“Art is great but not a ‘realistic’ future goal. While it’s a nice hobby to have, you can’t really make a living out of it. You’ll just be another starving artist.”

As children, we internalize these negative messages and parrot them back. If the adults say so, it must be true, right? By adulthood, every time we have a small hope, we’re the first to snuff it out:

“Drawing is nice but not necessary. I’ll never be as good as the real professionals anyway. I don’t even have a degree from an accredited art school.”

For years I stopped myself before I even tried. I did it because I was afraid.

I was afraid of what people would say. I was afraid everyone would hate my art. I was afraid of failing as an artist.

When fear grabs you, your beloved goal forever feels out of reach. But it doesn’t just stop there, does it?

If left unchecked, the infectious bite of fear and self-doubt can spread. You unconsciously start questioning your knowledge and abilities in everything you do. And if you’re like me, you desperately want to find a cure.

One fateful day I realized that trying to beat out my self-doubt wouldn’t rebuild my confidence.

If I wanted to believe in myself, I needed to face my self-doubt and be willing to take care of it.

Before, I imagined self-doubt as a life-sucking monster. Now, I realize it’s actually a fearful, angry, and lost creature secretly crying for help.

Like fear, joy, and sadness, doubt is part of human nature, and it needs understanding. If you want to improve yourself, you need to tame your self-doubt, not fight with it.

That means paying attention to how you react to things, understanding the root of your insecurities, and taking steps to address your fears.

Now I no longer tell myself, “I’ll never be a good enough artist.” Instead, I ask myself, “What can I do to become better?” And I take baby steps.

I went from drawing every few weeks, to every week, and now every two to three days. Re-framing self-doubt has also helped me cope with other challenges, like successfully starting a small business.

Self-doubt doesn’t have to be as monstrous as we make it out to be. It’s all about perspective. The following tips will help you manage your self-doubt.

Identify and ease your doubts.

Learning how to recognize when your self-talk takes a turn for the worse is crucial. When you hear yourself saying, “I can’t,” or, “I don’t know,” or, “What if,” a red flag should go up.

Instead of telling yourself, “I can’t do X,” say, “I can’t do X yet. But I’m working on it.”

Or if you start wondering, “What if I fail?” you can respond by saying, “Then I’ll try again.”

Doing this transforms a negative situation into an opportunity for growth. In the end, it’s about giving yourself a chance.

Stop listening to toxic people.

Toxic people are convinced that everything is impossible, and they are quick to shoot down ideas. They’ll poison your mind into a state of hopelessness.

Don’t let them steal your energy just because they’ve lost theirs.

Instead, surround yourself with supportive and passionate people who can both inspire you and bring out the best in you. You can find them among friends, family, books, or blogs like Tiny Buddha.

They will lift you up when you feel down and help you see the bright side of your darkest fears and doubts.

Recall your successes.

This one is tough. When you’re down, you’ll more easily remember the bad instead of the good. And oftentimes, the “rah-rah” pep talk just doesn’t cut it.

So, I suggest writing a list. Grab a piece of paper or small notebook, or open a blank document. Now write down your successes, big or small.

If you’re a bit bashful about your achievements, ask someone you trust to tell you the great things they think you’ve done. It’s refreshing and a great confidence boost.

And finally, keep your list with you at all times. It will help you find your way back to yourself whenever you get lost.

Trust and love yourself.

You probably spend more time being your own worst enemy instead of being your own best friend.

But you deserve to treat yourself better. After all, you have the rest of your life to spend with yourself.

Think of it this way: Would you mentally abuse or condemn your loved ones? Would you let them suffer in their time of need? If not, then why would you do it to yourself?

So, be kind to yourself. You are more capable and worthy than you give yourself credit for.

Give yourself permission to try…and try again.

Self-doubt never disappears. Over time, you just get better at dealing with it.

It will greet you every time you fall out of your comfort zone and whenever you strive to do something great.

But know that it’s not something you have to fear or resent. Your doubts are only thoughts, not your future.

Sure, something may go wrong. But if you never try, you’re losing an opportunity to improve your life.

Are you willing to risk that instead?

This advice came from our friends at Tiny Buddha.com.  A great blog, worth following.

How to Believe in Yourself in the Face of Overwhelming Self-Doubt

Thanks for stopping by, come back soon, John